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Barry Crimmins

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Hell's Hackers Saturday, April 23, 2011

Hells Hackers
I now fear that creation is an entity dominated by evil. This of course  means the Catholic Church is in charge. Actually, what I  am beginning to fear is there really is a Hell and Satan doesn't like it when you sass him.

Here's what has happened: I have written and rewritten and posted and reposted a letter demanding excommunication from the Roman Catholic Church. That is several rewrites and several reposts. I have completely scrapped what I had posted twice and made brand new posts. Again and again something happens and my articulate indictment of the Roman Catholic Church suddenly appears to be the work of a very haphazard and disjointed person.

My sainted webmaster has told me it wasn't me -- at least it wasn't me last night-- there was actually some sort of nutty bug loose in the system. So I went and fixed it three more times this morning. I just checked it and it's all screwed up again.

Each time I think I'm done and all is OK, I check back and find that either a completely truncated version (note:truncation ended last night) or an earlier unedited draft is on my website. This is making me suicidal. And suicide is a mortal sin and if I die with a mortal sin on my soul, I now must fear being sent to an afterlife run by child-raping money-grubbers. This rules out suicide.

Even if I end up in Hell anyway, then Hell it is. Because if I must continue my fight against this evil entity for eternity then that's what I'm going to do. For now, a few posting problems aren't about to stop me. A new version of my demand for excommunication will arise from the typos caused by Hell's Gremlins. My pledge: If it literally takes forever, I will spend eternity plotting my escape from an unjust and evil soul-jailer.

Then again, it's probably just a software glitch and if there is a heaven, I will be there someday with all my dogs and friends and even a few select family members.

OK, I'm going back in there. Pray for my poor agnostic soul until you hear from me again.

UPDATE: Just tried to add an image to this and I can't -- something is really messed up and it's messed up right here on Earth. When I get this straightened out, I hope you'll read the corrected version and help me spread the idea of demanding excommunication as a show of defiance to an awful institution.

UPDATE 2- The original letter has been re-re-re-reposted and remains fine after several hours. I can now add images again so it would appear things are back in order.