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Barry Crimmins

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Quips & Comments 5-15-02 Wednesday, May 15, 2002

by Barry Crimmins

http://www.barrycrimmins.com

Congress is considering a law that would permit churches to endorse candidates. That'd be fine so long as it first passes a law permitting churches to pay taxes.

Speaking of which, what's scummiest about the Catholic Church is that it will close down charity services for the poor and blame it on settlements to victims of its priests long before it even considers liquidating any of its massive assets to make some small restitution for its sins.

The Catholic Church: We rape children and then bill the poor.

It's funny how some people are more threatened by Jimmy Carter telling the truth about Cuba not producing biological weapons than the fact that the anthrax spores that killed Americans were developed at Fort Detrick in Maryland. The nuclear treaty Bush has agreed upon with Russia's Vladimir Putin is laden with all the legitimacy of junk mail that announces "you are already a millionaire!"

Although the treaty has yet to be signed, Bush and Putin have reached an agreement in (lack of) principle.

The pact allows either side to return to any level of nuke stockpile when it expires in ten years. It permits either side to withdraw anytime before then with 90 days' notice. Basically it's an agreement only goes into effect after it expires. Other than that, it's a very solid document.

Putin could feel safer signing a pre-nup with Robert Blake.

Leave it to Dubyahoo to agree to use no more than a couple thousand nuclear warheads at a time and then announce to the world that he is a great peacemaker. The agreement reduces the nuclear arsenal by two-thirds, unless you count the several thousand weapons that will be put into storage rather than destroyed.

Bush and Putin have agreed to sign a meaningless piece of paper -- an act only rivaled in impotence by the casting of a presidential ballot in Florida.

I've had leases on studio apartments that were harder to get out of than Bush's new fake treaty. It's considerably more difficult to sign off of AOL than it is to get out of this treaty.

But then if you can figure out how to sign off of AOL, building a nuclear weapon should present no real challenge.

In light of the upcoming ban on soft money in federal elections, last night's Republican corporate fundraiser was the equivalent of throwing a keg party at the entrance to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

The Republican credo: Sleaze = virtue!

Just when you think Republicans couldn't possibly suck any worse, they hold a black tie gala to celebrate their sliminess.

Jimmy Carter goes to Cuba on a mission of good faith and gets vilified by the very people who have absolutely no qualms about politically profiteering from the massacre of innocents. Ho-hum, it's just another embarrassing moment in American history.

When asked about Carter's trip to Cuba, Bush said, "My message to the Cuban people is to demand freedom and you've got a president who stands with you." Oh great, stealing the White House wasn't enough, now he's declaring himself president of Cuba. Bush said of Castro " ...he ought to have free elections and he ought to have a free press and he ought to free his prisoners and he ought to encourage free enterprise." And if it works in Cuba Bush said he'd consider trying some of those things in the United States.

In fairness it should be noted that there has already been some experimentation with these things in the United States. For example, many Americans get railroaded in a phony drug war, imprisoned in a prison-industrial complex -- thus providing profits for free entrepreneurs and then they are legally kept from ever voting again.

From the National Security Archive, by way of Narco News http://www.narconews,com: In a 1996 meeting with Colombian military officials, Rep. Dennis Hastert (Gluttonous Old Pig- Ill) promised to“remove conditions on assistance” and complained about “leftist-dominated” U.S. congresses of years past that “used human rights as an excuse to aid the left in other countries.”  Hastert said he would correct this situation and expedite aid to countries allied in the war on drugs and also encouraged Colombian military officials to “bypass the U.S. executive branch and communicate directly with Congress.”   So the current Speaker of the House worked back channels to subvert both the president and the will of the American people as expressed through their legislators. It's a good thing Hastert is a somewhat moderate Republican or there's no telling what he'd have been promoting.

Actually there is some telling, just look into Otto Reich's background and beliefs and you'll get a pretty good idea.

It's funny how human rights initiatives always seem to end up being tough on the right. And how did the U.S. have so many"leftist dominated" congresses yet we still don't have health care on demand for all of our citizens?

Just the left's luck-- a leftist dominated congress and nobody tells us about it!

A death squad here, a coup there and the next thing you know human rights crackpots make it nearly impossible for a cheesy hick from Illinois to fund a junta. Let's hope that the Colombian legislature someday passes human rights provisions making further diplomatic contact with the United States contingent upon the removal from office of all US legislators with a record of supporting the oppression of innocent people.

It's strange how a downstate Illinois Republican is perfectly comfortable expressing his disdain for human rights to a bunch of military thugs in Colombia.

One shudders to estimate what Hastert suggests in private to the Illinois State Police.

So Hastert, who couldn't be any more blindly devoted to Bush's purported War on Terror, is on record encouraging known state-sponsored terrorists by telling them he would subvert any efforts by the American government to curtail their terroristic activities. That's the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, folks. How are you supposed to run a viable war on drugs when every time you round up a few hundred dissidents and machine gun them, bleeding hearts start bleating about human rights, eh, Speaker?

Impeach the unAmerican traitor Hastert!

© 2002 Barry Crimmins

updated: 17 years ago