CrimQuips
Quips & Comments 4-19-02 Friday, April 19, 2002
www.barrycrimmins.com
Maybe Bush's recent militarization of the US/Canada border was no coincidence.
Osama bin Laden remains on the loose, as well as the Anthrax murderer(s) but the Court-appointed Bush Administration can take heart in the fact that Canada has been taught a lesson it won't soon forget.
The Red Cross has already learned the same lesson.
And now Osama will have to think twice before he heads for Venezuela!
Bin Laden is more likely to be done in by a chunk of displaced arctic shelf than the Court-appointed Bush Administration.
Just think, many people now guarding US airports are members of the same military that's responsible for direct hits on the Red Cross and the Canadian armed forces.
Considering the defeat suffered by Dubyahoo over his greedy scheme to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, caribou herds had better be on the lookout for friendly fire.
Considering what the Court-appointed Bush Administration has done to Venezuela and Canada recently, Mexico really needs to be careful not to make any sudden moves.
Colin Powell has an airtight alibi for when the Venezuelan coup took place. He has millions of witnesses who will attest that he was over in the Middle East, very publicly accomplishing nothing.
The same Venezuelan opposition that was screaming about how Chavez wouldn't allow footage of the shooting of several people at the anti-government rally last week to be seen, now has done everything but set off bottle rockets to keep the legislature from viewing footage of the events that allegedly would have exonerated Chavez supporters and demonstrated that the vast majority of the victims of the (See: IA) snipers were Chavezistas.
How about that corporate media? It immediately labeled the overthrow of a legitimate government in Venezuela as a positive development but still can't put itself to call what took place in Jenin a "massacre" because they don't want to appear rash.
Just because Jenin resembles Dresden in 1945 doesn't mean we should leap to any conclusions.
According to FAIR, the Chicago Tribune said of the Venezuelan coup: "It's not every day that a democracy benefits from the military's intervention to force out an elected president." And it's not any day that its readers benefit from the Chicago Tribune landing on their doorsteps.
The Tribune also falsely claimed that Hugo Chavez had praised Osama bin Laden. Words that FAIR has offered back to the Tribune with a choice of condiments to help make them easier to eat.
Considering what Al Giordano has done at Narco News to expose corporate complicity & the coup, a condiment shortage should run rampant throughout the editorial boards of US newspapers.
Note I said "should" run rampant. The only reason the US papers aren't devouring their news and op-ed pages from the day they thought the Venezuelan fix was in, is because they are too relentlessly arrogant and corrupt to own up to journalistic and ethical failures that crystallized last weekend in full view of all but the terminally delusional.
After its abysmal performance covering up and endorsing the US-backed Venezuelan coup, perhaps the New York Times needs a new slogan: All the News That's Fixed We Print.
Giordano, from somewhere in a country called Amrica, is sending humanitarian aid to US newspapers for the crow banquet, but when he lists the ingredients, I'm not sure what he means: "Chile de arbol, chipotle, jalapeo, chile serrano, chile piqun, salsa de chile..."
Buen Provecho, Juan Forero! (Rough translation:Eat this, NYT hack!)
In Latin America they spell "Chili" as "Chile," which makes perfect sense when we're talking about US backed coups.
Some of Al's humanitarian recipes are easier to translate than others. For instance, "enema de chile" is pretty much the same in English as it is in Spanish.
Of course Kissinger's and Pinochet's enema de chile recipe calls for pig iron and a foundry.
It figures it'd be pig iron.
A "Cooking with Narco News" TV show could be a nice endeavor for Al Giordano to pursue. "Tonight we are preparing 'Authentic Journalist Surprise.'"
"Take the scum of several corporate editorial boards and whip briskly....."
"Repeatedly beat to punch."
After former Joliet, Illinois priest Rev. Anthony J. Ross was suspended because of allegations that he sexually abused a teenage boy in 1983, his brother, Rev. Richard Ross, commented,"I don't have much sympathy for people who somehow couldn't stop whatever happened. I'll take all of these people who were abused, and I'll abuse them with a baseball bat. You can quote me on that." You don't have to ask twice, Padre.
Blessed be the Louisville Sluggers for they shall be used to re-victimize the children of God.
What do you bet that Rev. Richard Ross coaches baseball at a parochial school?
2002 Barry Crimmins
*******
Maybe Bush's recent militarization of the US/Canada border was no coincidence.
Osama bin Laden remains on the loose, as well as the Anthrax murderer(s) but the Court-appointed Bush Administration can take heart in the fact that Canada has been taught a lesson it won't soon forget.
The Red Cross has already learned the same lesson.
And now Osama will have to think twice before he heads for Venezuela!
Bin Laden is more likely to be done in by a chunk of displaced arctic shelf than the Court-appointed Bush Administration.
Just think, many people now guarding US airports are members of the same military that's responsible for direct hits on the Red Cross and the Canadian armed forces.
Considering the defeat suffered by Dubyahoo over his greedy scheme to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, caribou herds had better be on the lookout for friendly fire.
Considering what the Court-appointed Bush Administration has done to Venezuela and Canada recently, Mexico really needs to be careful not to make any sudden moves.
Colin Powell has an airtight alibi for when the Venezuelan coup took place. He has millions of witnesses who will attest that he was over in the Middle East, very publicly accomplishing nothing.
The same Venezuelan opposition that was screaming about how Chavez wouldn't allow footage of the shooting of several people at the anti-government rally last week to be seen, now has done everything but set off bottle rockets to keep the legislature from viewing footage of the events that allegedly would have exonerated Chavez supporters and demonstrated that the vast majority of the victims of the (See: IA) snipers were Chavezistas.
How about that corporate media? It immediately labeled the overthrow of a legitimate government in Venezuela as a positive development but still can't put itself to call what took place in Jenin a "massacre" because they don't want to appear rash.
Just because Jenin resembles Dresden in 1945 doesn't mean we should leap to any conclusions.
According to FAIR, the Chicago Tribune said of the Venezuelan coup: "It's not every day that a democracy benefits from the military's intervention to force out an elected president." And it's not any day that its readers benefit from the Chicago Tribune landing on their doorsteps.
The Tribune also falsely claimed that Hugo Chavez had praised Osama bin Laden. Words that FAIR has offered back to the Tribune with a choice of condiments to help make them easier to eat.
Considering what Al Giordano has done at Narco News to expose corporate complicity & the coup, a condiment shortage should run rampant throughout the editorial boards of US newspapers.
Note I said "should" run rampant. The only reason the US papers aren't devouring their news and op-ed pages from the day they thought the Venezuelan fix was in, is because they are too relentlessly arrogant and corrupt to own up to journalistic and ethical failures that crystallized last weekend in full view of all but the terminally delusional.
After its abysmal performance covering up and endorsing the US-backed Venezuelan coup, perhaps the New York Times needs a new slogan: All the News That's Fixed We Print.
Giordano, from somewhere in a country called Amrica, is sending humanitarian aid to US newspapers for the crow banquet, but when he lists the ingredients, I'm not sure what he means: "Chile de arbol, chipotle, jalapeo, chile serrano, chile piqun, salsa de chile..."
Buen Provecho, Juan Forero! (Rough translation:Eat this, NYT hack!)
In Latin America they spell "Chili" as "Chile," which makes perfect sense when we're talking about US backed coups.
Some of Al's humanitarian recipes are easier to translate than others. For instance, "enema de chile" is pretty much the same in English as it is in Spanish.
Of course Kissinger's and Pinochet's enema de chile recipe calls for pig iron and a foundry.
It figures it'd be pig iron.
A "Cooking with Narco News" TV show could be a nice endeavor for Al Giordano to pursue. "Tonight we are preparing 'Authentic Journalist Surprise.'"
"Take the scum of several corporate editorial boards and whip briskly....."
"Repeatedly beat to punch."
After former Joliet, Illinois priest Rev. Anthony J. Ross was suspended because of allegations that he sexually abused a teenage boy in 1983, his brother, Rev. Richard Ross, commented,"I don't have much sympathy for people who somehow couldn't stop whatever happened. I'll take all of these people who were abused, and I'll abuse them with a baseball bat. You can quote me on that." You don't have to ask twice, Padre.
Blessed be the Louisville Sluggers for they shall be used to re-victimize the children of God.
What do you bet that Rev. Richard Ross coaches baseball at a parochial school?
2002 Barry Crimmins
*******