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Barry Crimmins

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CrimQuips 10/17/02 Thursday, October 17, 2002

Commentary by Barry Crimmins

http://www.barrycrimmins.com

At a time like this, all Americans, particularly Washington D.C. area residents, should stop and reflect on the freedom we enjoy thanks to the vigilance of the good folks at the NRA.

Do you think there is any way the entire capital area could be held hostage by this murderer had the NRA not first taken the legislature and executive branch captive?

I read one freedom-loving NRA supporter ask why guns are any different than kitchen knives or hammers. He reasoned that both can be used as murder weapons, just like a gun. That's a good point. I'd hate to count all of the random people killed each year, in public, by serial killers using high-powered kitchen knives and hammers.

OK, we need a complete list of all Olympic hammer throwers in the capital area.

Who can forget that those kids from Columbine and the Veg-A-Matic they used in their killing spree?

Conspiracy buff question of the day: What was that FBI intelligence expert working on prior to her murder in the Home Depot parking lot?

Wittingly or unwittingly, this sniper does serve the Court-appointed Bush Administration well -- "Create a diversion while I steal another election!"

Now that W's fully armed with congressional authorization, expect a pre-election assault on Iraq so that the Republicans can impugn the decency of principled people like Paul Wellstone just days before the election.

Minnesota ad circa 11/1/'02: Murky-voiced announcer says, "But Senator Wellstone voted against the gallant American troops now fighting to protect our way of life."

And if you drive an SUV that is wider than most cars are long, they will be fighting to defend your way of life, too.

The Florida gubernatorial race is now too close to call but it'll never be too close to fix, eh, Jeb?

Jeb's campaign workers are warming up for election day by losing thousands of sample ballots.

Court-appointed Bush Administration fiction writers are working around the clock to develop a scenario that links Saddam Hussein to the horrific massacre in Bali.

It's a good thing people now acknowledge terror that happens in and around Indonesia. Such focus could have helped save a lot of people in East Timor over the past few decades, but better late than never.

What's Bush going to tell us next? If we had just preemptively struck Iraq before the one al Qaeda leader allegedly received medical treatment there, the Bali massacre would have never taken place?

Maybe the Bali massacre never would have taken place had Bush not been so busy planning the Iraq massacre.

If you want to know what the real story is on Iraq, read the business page, watch business shows and keep track of what business leaders have to say when they speak to business groups. After some brief lip service to weapons of mass destruction hysteria, they will tip their hands and discuss how good the recolonization of Iraq will be for the economy. This afternoon I heard some guy on MSNBC explain that once the US occupies Iraqi oil fields it will stabilize oil prices and help turn the economy around. So if you want to get the unvarnished truth, follow the money stories.

Court-appointed Bush Administration gaping mouthpiece Ari Fleischer says that the president doesn't think so-called weapon fingerprinting is a good idea, even in light of the lunatic currently pinning down two states and our nation's capital with high-powered rifle fire. He's right, such tracking data could be used to exonerate some of the poor dupes currently residing in death rows around the country and without a ready supply of such human sacrifices, human lint like George W. Bush would never get close enough to a ballot to steal office in the first place.

It's fine to suspend civil liberties using 9/11 as justification, it's fine to massacre innocents in preemptive strikes that have been okayed by a Congress stampeded by fear, it's even fine to engage military spy planes in the domestic pursuit of the Capital area killer but when it comes time to add a simple and sane step to the distribution of firearms, a step that would allow quick tracing of a gun used in a murder, we are suddenly supposed to become willing to lay down our lives in the defense of liberty.

What we learn from this is that Bush is much more fearful of the world's most over-represented lobby-- gun nuts -- than he is of the continued slaughter of capital area residents.

Guns enslave a hell of a lot more frequently than they liberate.

© 2002 Barry Crimmins



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updated: 17 years ago