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Barry Crimmins

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Quips & Comments 4-13-02 Saturday, April 13, 2002

by Barry Crimmins

This Venezuelan thing is a real coup for the Court-appointed Bush Administration.

If you want to know what's going on in Venezuela just read, and invert, the New York Times.

The State Department's own newsletter contains more material it objects to than can be found in a month's worth of the New York Times.

It's nice to see it didn't take long for the CIA to make good use of its unchecked power and unlimited budget.

The Dulles Brothers are cackling in Hell over the restoration of America's ability to reverse the democratic will of of sovereign nations, without so much even mild cross-examination by the media.

William Randolph Hearst is sitting in the same bonfire as the Dulles boys, beaming proudly at the ease with which the contemporary corporate media is able to mislead the public.

On the other hand, Simon Bolivar is on a rotisserie in his grave.

Remember the Maine? Well keep it in mind when you are reading anything in the corporate media concerning the Venezuelan coup.

Remember the Latin American hoaxes!

The new corporate junta in Venezuela so loves freedom that it is now delivering it door-to-door, at the end of a gun barrel.

The US-backed Venezuelan coup installed "President" Pedro Carmona who in just 24 hours dissolved the legitimately elected congress, delayed elections and declared he has the right to remove any elected official from power. At this rate he should be naming John Ashcroft Attorney General sometime later today.

Bush and Carmona are forming a new group: The Organization of Illegitimate Leaders or "OIL."

The Venezuelan coup is about the drug the US simply cannot kick-- oil. Fingerprints of the oily Bushes and their family-owned subsidiary, the Central Intelligence Agency, are all over this removal from power of a man who had the gall to assert that Venezuelans should benefit from Venezuela's natural resources.

Anyone in the Court-appointed Bush Administration will tell you, Chavez Frias' fidelity to the people of Venezuela is proof positive that he is anti-American.

If you think the snipers that killed the people in Venezuela were doing so at the behest of overthrown democratically-elected (by landslides) President Hugo Chavez Frias, you probably believe Wag the Dog was a documentary.

The presidents of Mexico and Peru have announced that they do not recognize

the illegitimate regime of Carmona but what do elected leaders matter?

I'm not saying that there are a zillion parallels to the overthrow of Allende in Chile, I'm just saying that if Jack Lemmon has any kids in Venezuela, now would be a good time for them to get the hell out of there.

That figure of 150,000 protesters at the anti-Chavez Frias rally in Venezuela includes 110,000 previously uncounted participants from earlier peace, environmental and civil rights rallies in the United States. When the Court-appointed Bush Administration saw the need to make Pedro Carmona seem legitimate, it immediately ordered the National Park Service to send down a healthy amount of uncounted masses to help in the rationalization of the installation of this corporate junta.

The actual figure of 150,000 was provided to the Venezuelan Corporate Junta courtesy of Katherine Harris.

The New York Times sends out a news alert via e-mail each time innocent Israelis are killed by terrorists. These too-frequent alerts are news and deserve to be bulletins. Were the same to be true each time innocent Palestinians are killed, the newspaper would soon become responsible for more e-mail than those people who send out the "earn money at home" spams.

The Times will often headline the deaths of Israeli innocents and then add, several paragraphs into the story that three or four times as many Palestinians were killed. Talk about burying the lead!

Correction: In the previous edition of these Quips, Yucca Mountain, site of the proposed nuclear waste repository, was identified as being in Arizona. It is, of course, in Nevada. Several Nevada residents did write to say that should the nuke dump open, they'd be happy to let Arizona have Yucca Mountain.

Sincere apologies go out to anyone who erroneously sent their nuclear waste to Arizona as a result of the quip.

2002 Barry Crimmins

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updated: 17 years ago