CrimQuips
CrimQuips 1/8/03 Wednesday, January 8, 2003
Commentary by Barry Crimmins
http://www.barrycrimmins.com As if the gay community didn't have enough trouble with stereotypes, the Raelians (Baby, what I say!) now claim to have cloned a lesbian.
Arrogant US postwar plans for Iraq include a takeover of the nation's oil fields purportedly to pay for the reconstruction of the nation after it is devastated by American military violence. So all it takes to bring out the inner compassion of the Court-appointed Bush Administration is the second largest oil reserve in the world. No need to spare the carnage when you have that kind of a reconstruction fund to tap!
Once the US takes control of the oil fields, a reconstruction effort so thorough will commence that it could be decades before the Iraqi people have their property returned to them. But if that's what it takes, Bush has the dedication to empty every drop of oil from Iraq! So the plan is to steal the country's largest asset to purportedly pay for the replacement of all the other assets the US destroys. A truly oilwellian scheme!
W says, "We have no aggressive intent, no argument with the North Korean people." But those long-suffering Iraqi peasants -- they need more bombing!
Bush's economic package will come gift-wrapped for the ultra-wealthy but as a just another January bill for working people.
Bush wants to give unemployed Americans up to $3,000 for job searches. This works out pretty well because that's roughly the cost of a trip China, which is where many U.S. workers will have to travel if they want to find and visit their old jobs.
After his economic Trojan Horse gets rolled into our homes, Bush's next move will be to step up his assault on public education by unveiling a School Vulture program.
School Vultures will tear apart the carcass of public education and feed its flesh to the Religious Right.
Public service is just another element of government Bush has privatized. His regime serves the ultra-wealthy more tax breaks and issues them more private riches by stealing from those in need of public service.
And let's get the service part straight-- W stole the office and for his crime we all must serve a term of four years.
Only impeachment would give us a chance of parole. Considering what's happened to the stock market over the last several years, isn't the elimination of taxes on stock dividends sort of unnecessary? To answer my own question: No, not if you're an inside trader.
Bush went to work on this dividend scheme when he realized how much more money his buddies at Enron could have absconded with had there not been a tax on their ill-begotten dividends.
AOL stockholders are thrilled to know that when hell freezes over and they receive a dividend, it will be tax-free!
Thanks to W's plan, the million people who lost unemployment benefits last week will no longer have to lose sleep about where they will get the money to pay taxes on their stock dividends.
Supremacist Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist wants a raise. On his meager 180 grand per year take-home pay, it's become increasingly difficult for him to roll with all the cats who've been fattened by the president he appointed. Maybe next time Rehnquist will be smart enough to sell the presidency rather than just give it away.
Let's hope Rehnquist strikes. His battle cry will be," No Justice! No Justice!" Oops, that's already his battle cry.
So let me get this straight, the Court-appointed Bush Administration wants us to believe that North Korea's blatant march towards nuclear weapons capability isn't a crisis. But it expects us to perceive the inability of UN inspectors to find any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq as so awful it leaves us no choice but war? Nice sense of proportion there, W.
A military primarily composed of economically-conscripted poor people forced to serve as corporate Hessians is just as bad as a drafted army --provided there are very few draft deferments. Charlie Rangel's point is simple: American poor people are over-represented when it comes to being put in harm's way -- both at home and abroad. And it raises all sorts of issues that deserve serious examination.
It was no coincidence that within a few years of the end of most draft deferments, Congress decided to end the draft. This was because once there was no easy escape route for the wealthy, the power elite shook the tree in Washington and the volunteer army dropped out of it.
So spare me the outrage towards Rangel -- he's just making a point and an important one at that. There is about as much chance of Congress restoring an almost deferment-free draft as there is of Bush addressing the nation and admitting to cynically, sinisterly exploiting 9/11.
If you don't believe the chicken carcass you gnaw upon should be the remains of a creature that lived its live in a cramped feces-covered condition and died by having its throat slit while it was very much aware of what was happening to it, then you probably agree with those lunatics at PETA who believe we should boycott Kentucky Fried Chicken. *******
NO JOKE
The FBI has concluded the information that led to a nationwide hunt for five men suspected of infiltrating the United States on Christmas Eve was fabricated by a low-rent Canadian con artist named Michael John Hamdani. This story escalated between Christmas and New Years Eve as we were eventually warned that there were 19 terrorists looking to infiltrate the US border. Evil was a afoot!
It certainly was-- at least in the Oval Office. How much more proof do we need of Bush & Co's evil intent than this hoax about 19 terrorists entering the US just before the new year? Oh sure they have palmed the deed off on the cheesy Hamdani but it's interesting how quickly he disclosed the 19 terrorist humbug. Even more interesting is how quickly this nonsense was passed along. And we also must consider how many other times has the court-appointed Buish Administration cried "wolf!" over the past 15 months. This practice of using threats to scare us into compliance with the Bush dictatorial regime's every whim serves terrorists' needs and not those of the innocent people terror targets. How could Bush make their job any easier than to have the US government train its citizens to ignore terror alerts as if they are distant car alarms? Quick quiz: What color terror alert are we under right now? Bonus question: And what does it mean?
During the final days of 2002 , I heard numerous pundits and news anchors fixate on the parallel between 19 terrorists allegedly planning a new assault and the 19 terrorists alleged to have committed the 9/11 atrocities. But this fomenting of fear was not necessary because it took almost no time for the last Big Lie of 2002 to unravel. One of the alleged terrorists was a jeweler who was found in Pakistan by the Associated Press. He was shocked to learn that he was being accused of plotting against a country he had never so much as planned to visit. The AP, a news organization that generally can't find its thumbs in a dark room, managed to put the lie to this lame story. How comes our bright shiny new Department of Homeland security couldn't? The Court-appointed Bush Administration moved to classify over 33 million government documents last year. Clearly the only reason we learned of this thin yet sensational lie was because the Bushies wanted us to learn of it. They don't even like to announce actual arrests but they happily put out an all-points bulletin for fictional terrorists.Why do such a thing? Because they wanted to scare us as the year changed. They wanted us to think, "How evil al Qaeda is! Sending in 19 more terrorists as a means to numerologically compound our injury. We may have underestimated just how awful and dangerous they are." And they wanted us to beg," Please protect us by any means necessary, oh mighty Court-appointed Bush Administration!"
So Bush, probably at the insistence of Herr Karl Rove, chose to unnecessarily re-traumatize America at the reflective moment as we passed from one year to the next. Think of what slime they are! Think of how cold-hearted and self-serving you'd have to be to spread any part of that lie, let alone icing the cake with the intentionally terror-reminiscent number 19. Happy New Year to you, too, you scumbags!
If the god to which Bush and his cronies falsely claim title exists, they will burn in a new and horrifying portion of hell for their self-serving, malicious and sinister manipulation of this country and world. When it comes to being pathological riffraff, al Qaeda has a lot to learn from the current rogue-addled regime in Washington. And that's no joke. *******
Finally, please forgive me if I have failed to answer e-mail. I just don't have much time for correspondence this month. I am trying to get to it but have been overwhelmed with responses to the Year in Review piece. I have a book due in February that is consuming most of my time. And each day I must devote at least a few hours to combatting the "winter from central casting" that has been savaging my very rural domain in Upstate New York. In these parts, if you don't stay ahead of the snow, it will make like Nikita Kruschev and bury you. Nevertheless, if you have written, I'll answer-- sooner or later. (offer does not apply reactionary stalkers or anyone offering a special closeout deal on Norton software). I truly appreciate each one of your notes. -- BC
2003 Barry Crimmins
http://www.barrycrimmins.com As if the gay community didn't have enough trouble with stereotypes, the Raelians (Baby, what I say!) now claim to have cloned a lesbian.
Arrogant US postwar plans for Iraq include a takeover of the nation's oil fields purportedly to pay for the reconstruction of the nation after it is devastated by American military violence. So all it takes to bring out the inner compassion of the Court-appointed Bush Administration is the second largest oil reserve in the world. No need to spare the carnage when you have that kind of a reconstruction fund to tap!
Once the US takes control of the oil fields, a reconstruction effort so thorough will commence that it could be decades before the Iraqi people have their property returned to them. But if that's what it takes, Bush has the dedication to empty every drop of oil from Iraq! So the plan is to steal the country's largest asset to purportedly pay for the replacement of all the other assets the US destroys. A truly oilwellian scheme!
W says, "We have no aggressive intent, no argument with the North Korean people." But those long-suffering Iraqi peasants -- they need more bombing!
Bush's economic package will come gift-wrapped for the ultra-wealthy but as a just another January bill for working people.
Bush wants to give unemployed Americans up to $3,000 for job searches. This works out pretty well because that's roughly the cost of a trip China, which is where many U.S. workers will have to travel if they want to find and visit their old jobs.
After his economic Trojan Horse gets rolled into our homes, Bush's next move will be to step up his assault on public education by unveiling a School Vulture program.
School Vultures will tear apart the carcass of public education and feed its flesh to the Religious Right.
Public service is just another element of government Bush has privatized. His regime serves the ultra-wealthy more tax breaks and issues them more private riches by stealing from those in need of public service.
And let's get the service part straight-- W stole the office and for his crime we all must serve a term of four years.
Only impeachment would give us a chance of parole. Considering what's happened to the stock market over the last several years, isn't the elimination of taxes on stock dividends sort of unnecessary? To answer my own question: No, not if you're an inside trader.
Bush went to work on this dividend scheme when he realized how much more money his buddies at Enron could have absconded with had there not been a tax on their ill-begotten dividends.
AOL stockholders are thrilled to know that when hell freezes over and they receive a dividend, it will be tax-free!
Thanks to W's plan, the million people who lost unemployment benefits last week will no longer have to lose sleep about where they will get the money to pay taxes on their stock dividends.
Supremacist Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist wants a raise. On his meager 180 grand per year take-home pay, it's become increasingly difficult for him to roll with all the cats who've been fattened by the president he appointed. Maybe next time Rehnquist will be smart enough to sell the presidency rather than just give it away.
Let's hope Rehnquist strikes. His battle cry will be," No Justice! No Justice!" Oops, that's already his battle cry.
So let me get this straight, the Court-appointed Bush Administration wants us to believe that North Korea's blatant march towards nuclear weapons capability isn't a crisis. But it expects us to perceive the inability of UN inspectors to find any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq as so awful it leaves us no choice but war? Nice sense of proportion there, W.
A military primarily composed of economically-conscripted poor people forced to serve as corporate Hessians is just as bad as a drafted army --provided there are very few draft deferments. Charlie Rangel's point is simple: American poor people are over-represented when it comes to being put in harm's way -- both at home and abroad. And it raises all sorts of issues that deserve serious examination.
It was no coincidence that within a few years of the end of most draft deferments, Congress decided to end the draft. This was because once there was no easy escape route for the wealthy, the power elite shook the tree in Washington and the volunteer army dropped out of it.
So spare me the outrage towards Rangel -- he's just making a point and an important one at that. There is about as much chance of Congress restoring an almost deferment-free draft as there is of Bush addressing the nation and admitting to cynically, sinisterly exploiting 9/11.
If you don't believe the chicken carcass you gnaw upon should be the remains of a creature that lived its live in a cramped feces-covered condition and died by having its throat slit while it was very much aware of what was happening to it, then you probably agree with those lunatics at PETA who believe we should boycott Kentucky Fried Chicken. *******
NO JOKE
The FBI has concluded the information that led to a nationwide hunt for five men suspected of infiltrating the United States on Christmas Eve was fabricated by a low-rent Canadian con artist named Michael John Hamdani. This story escalated between Christmas and New Years Eve as we were eventually warned that there were 19 terrorists looking to infiltrate the US border. Evil was a afoot!
It certainly was-- at least in the Oval Office. How much more proof do we need of Bush & Co's evil intent than this hoax about 19 terrorists entering the US just before the new year? Oh sure they have palmed the deed off on the cheesy Hamdani but it's interesting how quickly he disclosed the 19 terrorist humbug. Even more interesting is how quickly this nonsense was passed along. And we also must consider how many other times has the court-appointed Buish Administration cried "wolf!" over the past 15 months. This practice of using threats to scare us into compliance with the Bush dictatorial regime's every whim serves terrorists' needs and not those of the innocent people terror targets. How could Bush make their job any easier than to have the US government train its citizens to ignore terror alerts as if they are distant car alarms? Quick quiz: What color terror alert are we under right now? Bonus question: And what does it mean?
During the final days of 2002 , I heard numerous pundits and news anchors fixate on the parallel between 19 terrorists allegedly planning a new assault and the 19 terrorists alleged to have committed the 9/11 atrocities. But this fomenting of fear was not necessary because it took almost no time for the last Big Lie of 2002 to unravel. One of the alleged terrorists was a jeweler who was found in Pakistan by the Associated Press. He was shocked to learn that he was being accused of plotting against a country he had never so much as planned to visit. The AP, a news organization that generally can't find its thumbs in a dark room, managed to put the lie to this lame story. How comes our bright shiny new Department of Homeland security couldn't? The Court-appointed Bush Administration moved to classify over 33 million government documents last year. Clearly the only reason we learned of this thin yet sensational lie was because the Bushies wanted us to learn of it. They don't even like to announce actual arrests but they happily put out an all-points bulletin for fictional terrorists.Why do such a thing? Because they wanted to scare us as the year changed. They wanted us to think, "How evil al Qaeda is! Sending in 19 more terrorists as a means to numerologically compound our injury. We may have underestimated just how awful and dangerous they are." And they wanted us to beg," Please protect us by any means necessary, oh mighty Court-appointed Bush Administration!"
So Bush, probably at the insistence of Herr Karl Rove, chose to unnecessarily re-traumatize America at the reflective moment as we passed from one year to the next. Think of what slime they are! Think of how cold-hearted and self-serving you'd have to be to spread any part of that lie, let alone icing the cake with the intentionally terror-reminiscent number 19. Happy New Year to you, too, you scumbags!
If the god to which Bush and his cronies falsely claim title exists, they will burn in a new and horrifying portion of hell for their self-serving, malicious and sinister manipulation of this country and world. When it comes to being pathological riffraff, al Qaeda has a lot to learn from the current rogue-addled regime in Washington. And that's no joke. *******
Finally, please forgive me if I have failed to answer e-mail. I just don't have much time for correspondence this month. I am trying to get to it but have been overwhelmed with responses to the Year in Review piece. I have a book due in February that is consuming most of my time. And each day I must devote at least a few hours to combatting the "winter from central casting" that has been savaging my very rural domain in Upstate New York. In these parts, if you don't stay ahead of the snow, it will make like Nikita Kruschev and bury you. Nevertheless, if you have written, I'll answer-- sooner or later. (offer does not apply reactionary stalkers or anyone offering a special closeout deal on Norton software). I truly appreciate each one of your notes. -- BC
2003 Barry Crimmins