CrimQuips
CrimQuips 2/12/03 Wednesday, February 12, 2003
Commentary by Barry Crimmins
http://www.barrycrimmins.com
My colleagues, every statement I make today is backed up by sources, solid
sources. These are not assertions. What we're giving you are facts and conclusions based on solid intelligence. - Mr. Integrity,U.S.Secretary of State Colin Powell prior to reading a plagiarized book report (OK, college paper) before the UN Security Council
The elevation to Orange terror alert meant just one thing: the Court-appointed Bush Administration was in great danger of being embarrassed by yet another massive peace march, this time in New York. So it upped the level of alert and brought in New York officials to speak in terms of the local danger. When a federal judge ruled that there could only be a rally but no march in New York, the worries of Bush being terrorized by honest citizens' concerns abated.
If there were one time that you could almost be sure no terrorists would attack New York, it's on the day of a massive peace march. Yet the NYPD advised a federal court that it would be a major security risk for such a march to take place. Kind of makes you wonder how much expertise the NYPD has in terrorist threat analysis.
Thanks to the judge, New York is once again safe from roving hordes of pacifists. The NYPD-- to protect and serve (the vested interests of the power elite.)
If something violent were to happen at a peace march, 99 times out of 100 it would be traceable to provocateurs that are interested in anything but peace. But there's no need to mention any government agencies by name.
The New York ban is meant to remind us that marching is un-American. If peace activists want to make a point, they should do something civilized like form a caravan of 100,000 sport utility vehicles and drive around Manhattan.
The main reason the judge claimed she ruled against the march was because the march organizers could give no firm estimate as to the size of the crowd. So because organizers were honest enough to say
it isimpossible to overestimate the size of peace rallies these days, they were told that tens of thousands of Americans will have their First Amendment Rights trampled.
Maybe they'd let us march if we promised to goose step. Good news for W yesterday -- a major political figure came out in support of his war with Iraq. Unfortunately it was Osama bin Laden but hey, you can't have everything.
Osama bin Hendrix's new recording : The Cry of Hate. Funny how Colin Powell got an early copy of the recording. I wonder if it's on that new Tenet label.
With what he can produce in a recording studio, George Tenet may soon make us forget George Martin. Considering they are both warmongering, teetotaling, red-baiting, religious zealots who despise Saddam Hussein, it's surprising that Osama and W can't get along. Too bad the al Qaeda Network isn't on the UN Security Council. That would be one vote for war W could surely count upon. How embarrassing for France, Germany and Belgium even Osama is in favor of the war they will not support.
And now the Europeans are avoiding American-produced genetically modified foods. They just won't let us play God with anything.
In stores now! Remember the Maine '03 --the DVD, with special alternative versions from George Tenet's private files.
Think of it, using attacks that were performed with box-cutters as a rationale, Bush has brought forward a military budget that will exceed $400 BILLION this year. So for about $20 worth of box-cutters and a handful of super-saver plane tickets, the terrorists managed to cause the oafish American government to embark upon a fiscal suicide mission.
It took the USA over forty years to outspend the Soviets and send them into financial ruin. Bin Laden has done it to America in just 15 months and for a bout one-zillionth of the dough.
The projected US federal deficit for next two years is over $600 BILLION. Imagine how much worse things would be if Bush weren't so damned conservative! A federal appeals court ruledthat Arkansas prison officialscould force a prisoner on death row to take an antipsychotic drug that would make him sane enough for execution. The people who really need those sanity-inducing drugs are Arkansas prison officials.
...not to mention federal appeals court judges. Antipsychotic drugs are best taken on a full stomach -- like condemned prisoners have after they have eaten their last meal. Next they'll give someone shock treatments until they are lucid enough to be electrocuted. Florida voters approved a measure to impose the most restrictive class-size limits in the nation. The state is receiving help from Governor Jeb's big brother who is working overtime to completely eliminate the middle class.
I'm getting very tired of hearing about how Colin Powell's UN remarks were some sort of latter day Gettysburg Address. Powell employed a plagiarized ancient college paper as a cornerstone of the case he tried to make. He supposedly enhanced his credibility by sitting with the goddamned CIA director. And he didn't win one vote over to his side. This is the opposite of the Gettysburg Address. Powell's speech was way too long. Lincoln's original remarks were the essence of pithy eloquence. Powell's speech intended to advance the ignoble cause of massacring innocents for oil. Lincoln spoke for the gallant hopes of peace and reconciliation. Powell's remarks were immediately mistaken for (and promoted as) great oratory by contemporary shills. Lincoln's remarks were questioned in his age but have resonated for the ages.
*******
NO JOKE Every now and then I feel the need to rake America's political debris into neat piles. And so this morning, while seething about myriad injustices and affronts to common decency, I made a quick list of some of my complaints against the court-appointed president. Some of you may have seen portions of these remarks in my previous quips and essay. Since an occasional concentrated dose can be the best medicine, I offer:
George W. Bush in brief He's the son of a CIA Director, born with a silver spoon...in his nose.
He has lived his life with a swaggering sense of entitlement about all that has been handed to him. This allowed the little bastard to sashay into DC as if he had arrived with a whopping mandate. Yet all he had was boundless gall and all the fixers billionaires could buy.
Our court-appointed president got his education as a legacy student who was carried through school. They probably had to fix the cheerleader trials for him to make that team.
He remained a partying frat boy twit until he reached his forties, at which time he made the transition to just being a frat boy twit.
During the early portion of a few decades of drug and alcohol binges, he openly committed dereliction of war-time military duty for which he was never held accountable-- thanks to his Daddy.
Upon not completing his military obligations and finishing his free pass through school, he began his career with a series of shifty business deals in which investors inevitably got fleeced. W, of course, always became wealthier as a result of these transactions.
Next he scammed Texas taxpayers into funding a new stadium for the Texas Rangers baseball team, which resulted in a $15 million gain for W.
Then came his years as Texas's chief executive, during which he demonstrated a greater propensity for executing inmates rather than his duties as governor.
Which led to the theft of the highest office of the land, with help from his brother and a Supremacist Court his Daddy helped appoint.
Upon literally taking office, his illegitimate regime set about its main duties: further engorging the super-wealthy at the expense of working people while transforming the federal government into a privatized arm of thieving, environmentally heinous corporate interests. He was too busy servicing those interests to keep his country from horrendous terrorist assaults on 9/11/01.... ...which he has distilled into a reason to massacre innocents abroad and goose step our nation towards police statehood at home, all while the economy tightens into an irreversible death spiral. But no worry; Bush has absolutely no qualms about terrorizing a jittery nation with bogus terrorist warnings whenever he needs a distraction from his nefarious conduct or addlebrained policies.
And so now he's about to plunge into a war, justified by plagiarized outdated material and corroborated by people who never met civil rights legislation they didn't denounce but suddenly feel compelled to praise the infallibility of a few high-level collaborators of color. That the war will assault a despot (and tens of thousands of innocents who suffer the misfortune of living in close proximity to said despot) that many of Bush's own people helped arm and put into power, is of no concern to W. Nor does he fret over the fact that his entire Mideast policy is nothing short of chain-smoking in an ammo dump. His actions are certain to result in violent reprisals against Americans. His plans already will send a new generation of US soldiers into harm's way. But W doesn't care because if those troops really mattered, their parents would have them playing tennis at the club and instead of undergoing the rigors of basic training.
Court-appointed President Bush's illegitimate regime is rapidly becoming an out and out junta. He represents a new low in American politics. That said, you must give George W. Bush credit -- he is one of the most consistently scummy public figures in American history. This vapid, beady-eyed little man is living proof that the ultra-wealthy should get at least a few mansions down the street before mating.
Ah, I feel better now.
And that's no joke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please click to sign up for the e-mail version of :CrimQuips List.
2003 Barry Crimmins
http://www.barrycrimmins.com
My colleagues, every statement I make today is backed up by sources, solid
sources. These are not assertions. What we're giving you are facts and conclusions based on solid intelligence. - Mr. Integrity,U.S.Secretary of State Colin Powell prior to reading a plagiarized book report (OK, college paper) before the UN Security Council
The elevation to Orange terror alert meant just one thing: the Court-appointed Bush Administration was in great danger of being embarrassed by yet another massive peace march, this time in New York. So it upped the level of alert and brought in New York officials to speak in terms of the local danger. When a federal judge ruled that there could only be a rally but no march in New York, the worries of Bush being terrorized by honest citizens' concerns abated.
If there were one time that you could almost be sure no terrorists would attack New York, it's on the day of a massive peace march. Yet the NYPD advised a federal court that it would be a major security risk for such a march to take place. Kind of makes you wonder how much expertise the NYPD has in terrorist threat analysis.
Thanks to the judge, New York is once again safe from roving hordes of pacifists. The NYPD-- to protect and serve (the vested interests of the power elite.)
If something violent were to happen at a peace march, 99 times out of 100 it would be traceable to provocateurs that are interested in anything but peace. But there's no need to mention any government agencies by name.
The New York ban is meant to remind us that marching is un-American. If peace activists want to make a point, they should do something civilized like form a caravan of 100,000 sport utility vehicles and drive around Manhattan.
The main reason the judge claimed she ruled against the march was because the march organizers could give no firm estimate as to the size of the crowd. So because organizers were honest enough to say
it isimpossible to overestimate the size of peace rallies these days, they were told that tens of thousands of Americans will have their First Amendment Rights trampled.
Maybe they'd let us march if we promised to goose step. Good news for W yesterday -- a major political figure came out in support of his war with Iraq. Unfortunately it was Osama bin Laden but hey, you can't have everything.
Osama bin Hendrix's new recording : The Cry of Hate. Funny how Colin Powell got an early copy of the recording. I wonder if it's on that new Tenet label.
With what he can produce in a recording studio, George Tenet may soon make us forget George Martin. Considering they are both warmongering, teetotaling, red-baiting, religious zealots who despise Saddam Hussein, it's surprising that Osama and W can't get along. Too bad the al Qaeda Network isn't on the UN Security Council. That would be one vote for war W could surely count upon. How embarrassing for France, Germany and Belgium even Osama is in favor of the war they will not support.
And now the Europeans are avoiding American-produced genetically modified foods. They just won't let us play God with anything.
In stores now! Remember the Maine '03 --the DVD, with special alternative versions from George Tenet's private files.
Think of it, using attacks that were performed with box-cutters as a rationale, Bush has brought forward a military budget that will exceed $400 BILLION this year. So for about $20 worth of box-cutters and a handful of super-saver plane tickets, the terrorists managed to cause the oafish American government to embark upon a fiscal suicide mission.
It took the USA over forty years to outspend the Soviets and send them into financial ruin. Bin Laden has done it to America in just 15 months and for a bout one-zillionth of the dough.
The projected US federal deficit for next two years is over $600 BILLION. Imagine how much worse things would be if Bush weren't so damned conservative! A federal appeals court ruledthat Arkansas prison officialscould force a prisoner on death row to take an antipsychotic drug that would make him sane enough for execution. The people who really need those sanity-inducing drugs are Arkansas prison officials.
...not to mention federal appeals court judges. Antipsychotic drugs are best taken on a full stomach -- like condemned prisoners have after they have eaten their last meal. Next they'll give someone shock treatments until they are lucid enough to be electrocuted. Florida voters approved a measure to impose the most restrictive class-size limits in the nation. The state is receiving help from Governor Jeb's big brother who is working overtime to completely eliminate the middle class.
I'm getting very tired of hearing about how Colin Powell's UN remarks were some sort of latter day Gettysburg Address. Powell employed a plagiarized ancient college paper as a cornerstone of the case he tried to make. He supposedly enhanced his credibility by sitting with the goddamned CIA director. And he didn't win one vote over to his side. This is the opposite of the Gettysburg Address. Powell's speech was way too long. Lincoln's original remarks were the essence of pithy eloquence. Powell's speech intended to advance the ignoble cause of massacring innocents for oil. Lincoln spoke for the gallant hopes of peace and reconciliation. Powell's remarks were immediately mistaken for (and promoted as) great oratory by contemporary shills. Lincoln's remarks were questioned in his age but have resonated for the ages.
*******
NO JOKE Every now and then I feel the need to rake America's political debris into neat piles. And so this morning, while seething about myriad injustices and affronts to common decency, I made a quick list of some of my complaints against the court-appointed president. Some of you may have seen portions of these remarks in my previous quips and essay. Since an occasional concentrated dose can be the best medicine, I offer:
George W. Bush in brief He's the son of a CIA Director, born with a silver spoon...in his nose.
He has lived his life with a swaggering sense of entitlement about all that has been handed to him. This allowed the little bastard to sashay into DC as if he had arrived with a whopping mandate. Yet all he had was boundless gall and all the fixers billionaires could buy.
Our court-appointed president got his education as a legacy student who was carried through school. They probably had to fix the cheerleader trials for him to make that team.
He remained a partying frat boy twit until he reached his forties, at which time he made the transition to just being a frat boy twit.
During the early portion of a few decades of drug and alcohol binges, he openly committed dereliction of war-time military duty for which he was never held accountable-- thanks to his Daddy.
Upon not completing his military obligations and finishing his free pass through school, he began his career with a series of shifty business deals in which investors inevitably got fleeced. W, of course, always became wealthier as a result of these transactions.
Next he scammed Texas taxpayers into funding a new stadium for the Texas Rangers baseball team, which resulted in a $15 million gain for W.
Then came his years as Texas's chief executive, during which he demonstrated a greater propensity for executing inmates rather than his duties as governor.
Which led to the theft of the highest office of the land, with help from his brother and a Supremacist Court his Daddy helped appoint.
Upon literally taking office, his illegitimate regime set about its main duties: further engorging the super-wealthy at the expense of working people while transforming the federal government into a privatized arm of thieving, environmentally heinous corporate interests. He was too busy servicing those interests to keep his country from horrendous terrorist assaults on 9/11/01.... ...which he has distilled into a reason to massacre innocents abroad and goose step our nation towards police statehood at home, all while the economy tightens into an irreversible death spiral. But no worry; Bush has absolutely no qualms about terrorizing a jittery nation with bogus terrorist warnings whenever he needs a distraction from his nefarious conduct or addlebrained policies.
And so now he's about to plunge into a war, justified by plagiarized outdated material and corroborated by people who never met civil rights legislation they didn't denounce but suddenly feel compelled to praise the infallibility of a few high-level collaborators of color. That the war will assault a despot (and tens of thousands of innocents who suffer the misfortune of living in close proximity to said despot) that many of Bush's own people helped arm and put into power, is of no concern to W. Nor does he fret over the fact that his entire Mideast policy is nothing short of chain-smoking in an ammo dump. His actions are certain to result in violent reprisals against Americans. His plans already will send a new generation of US soldiers into harm's way. But W doesn't care because if those troops really mattered, their parents would have them playing tennis at the club and instead of undergoing the rigors of basic training.
Court-appointed President Bush's illegitimate regime is rapidly becoming an out and out junta. He represents a new low in American politics. That said, you must give George W. Bush credit -- he is one of the most consistently scummy public figures in American history. This vapid, beady-eyed little man is living proof that the ultra-wealthy should get at least a few mansions down the street before mating.
Ah, I feel better now.
And that's no joke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please click to sign up for the e-mail version of :CrimQuips List.
2003 Barry Crimmins