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Barry Crimmins

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Quips & Comments 9-27-2001 Thursday, September 27, 2001

Is there anything more American than flag price-gouging?

The truth will set you free but in most cases it encumbers the hell out of you long before it ever unlocks the guardhouse.

Is it time to reconsider what our economy is all about when it hinges on people spending money they don't have, on things they don't need?

How vapid is a society when it is reduced to believing that a trip to the mall is a patriotic act?

If you really want to annoy the Taliban airdrop elementary school teachers into Afghanistan and have them teach science -- to girls.

Thursday night CBS debuts The Agency, a drama about the Central Intelligence Agency. It promises to be the most sympathetic look at big-time international drug dealers and terrorists ever to appear on network primetime.

The Air Line Pilots Association is pressing for federal legislation that would allow pilots to carry firearms, particularly when negotiating with airline executives.

The Federal Aviation Administration grounded crop-dusting planes in fear that they may be seized by terrorists to spray biological and chemical weapons on urban areas. The FAA promises that planes will be back poisoning the food supply in a matter of days.

Give Rudy Giuliani credit, when martial law is declared the man is a wonder to behold. We've been told the terrorist attacks were an assault on democracy. If Rudy chooses to attempt to circumvent NYC's term limit rule, wouldn't that make him an accessory after the fact?

If there was anyone who didn't fear America before polls showed a 90% approval rating for George W. Bush, they certainly must be feeling some trepidation now.

MSNBC ran a report on its website detailing how House Judiciary Committee Republicans ordered C-SPAN's and other news organizations' cameras from a hearing after John Ashcroft testified in favor of the oppressive anti-terrorist bill but before several witnesses opposed to the bill could have their testimony given equal coverage. Then, a few hours later, the section of the story that detailed this undemocratic act suddenly disappeared from MSNBC's site. So it appears MSNBC's website has been seized by House Republicans.

The Anti-Terrorist bill is an Anti-Bill of Rights Terror.

American Airlines has announced that it won't give severance packages to thousands of laid off workers. When asked how an airline, about to receive huge amounts of federal money, could put workers on the street without paying them what was rightfully theirs, a spokesperson said "Because exploiting a crisis to screw workers is the American way."

Cantor Fitzgerald chairman Howard W. Lutnic promised to immediately attend to issues caused by the deaths of nearly 70% of the bond-trading firms staff in the september 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center. True to his word, the firm acted swiftly -- by September 15 all of the deceased employees were removed from the company payroll.

Information mogul Michael R. Bloomberg won the Republican nomination in yesterday's New York City mayoral primary. Although Bloomberg said he wouldn't be willing to share power with departing Mayor Rudy Giuliani, he said he'd be happy to provide Giuliani with a free crawl for any comments he might have while Bloomberg holds press conferences.

Then, out of the goodness of his heart, Bloomberg promised Rudy free weather and stock updates for life.