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Barry Crimmins

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Quips & Comments 6-8-01 Friday, June 8, 2001

Sneaking in a few quips between flights. Love to all who were at the Lindesmith DPF anti-Drug War rally in Albuquerque. Hope to see many of you Sunday in D.C. or at the Peace Abbey. BC

First the Court-appointed Bush Administration and now "The Producers" -- this is truly the year for joke revivals featuring fascists.

Lay off Jenna Bush! Considering who her father is it's a miracle the poor kid isn't walking around with a morphine drip in her elbow.

The FAA is scheduled to present a 10-year plan for reducing flight delays. The plan is supposed to be implemented by 2010 but nobody expects much to happen before 2020.

Court-appointed President Bush traveled to the Florida Everglades to announce increased federal environmental aid to the reptile-friendly habitat -- assuring that there will always be someplace for him to slither even after he is hounded from office.

During his visit to the Everglades the eco-system failed to reclaim Bush and turn him into something more useful -- like fertilizer.

Setting a precedent that could eventually be a lifesaver for the court-appointed president, the Supreme Court overturned the death sentence of a retarded Texas man because of questions about the man's mental competency.

The United States no longer leads on international human rights issues, according to Amnesty International. In other news Saudi Arabia is not a good place for snow-skiing.

115-year-old Marie Bremont of France, believed to be the world's oldest person not serving in the U.S. Senate, has died.

After declining dramatically over the last several years, violent crimes in America increased  in 2000, preliminary FBI crime figures show. Experts said this is due mostly to crimes committed by the New York, Cincinnati and Los Angeles police departments.

Speaking of  Vt. Senator Jim Jeffords, FORMER Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott said, "The decision of one man has, however else you describe it, trumped the will of the American people." In fact, the decision of nine Supreme Court Justices trumped the will of the American people. Jeffords simply acceded to the nation's true wishes -- so live with it, Lott.

And the people of Missouri said a DEAD GUY was more fit for office than John Ashcroft and your never-elected president made him attorney general, Trent.

Considering Lott's love for the Confederacy you'd think he'd love traitors.

CompUSA Inc. plans to cut 700 jobs, about 4% of its work force. This means that CompUSA customers will now have 700 less people who assiduously avoid eye contact or any other sort of interaction with them when they attempt to shop at one of the company's retail outlets.

Eighty million children in Africa are forced to work - some as prostitutes or miners - creating one of the world's most serious child labor problems, not to mention serious competition for the conscience- free trade crazy Western Hemisphere.

If gamblers really knew anything about odds they'd never take another charter bus to Atlantic City.

Now that they will receive a $300 tax any Americans plan to fill their gas tanks and drive down to oil company offices and so that they can beg for more time to pay last winter's bills.

updated: 17 years ago