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Barry Crimmins

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CrimQuips 11/26/02 Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Commentary by Barry Crimmins

http://www.barrycrimmins.com

[ REVISED KEY: CABA = Court-Appointed Bush Administration CAP= Court Appointed President]

Francoise Ducros, director of communications for Canada's Prime Minister Jean Chretien, said that Court-appointed PresidentBush is a "moron."Kasier Ashcroft is now furiously attempting to have Ducros extradited to the U.S. so that he can be tried for revealing American state secrets.

Ari Fleischer immediately responded by saying that Ducros --DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONSfor Canada's Prime Minister Jean Chretien -- did not speak for anyone in the Canadian government. (He really did!)

The Homeland Security Billincluded a rider that guarantees corporations with tax-dodge offshore headquarters the right to participate in thewar-profiteering that will take place in the name of anti-terrorism. This means corporations that pay no tax dollars have been given a license to steal everyone else's.

Apparently we must keep our homeland secure for abandonment by corporate slime.

After all, why even bother to form aDepartment of Police State Securityif your fat cat buddies can't profiteer from it?

Considering how the rider made life easy for companies that have abandoned the US,the bill it was attached to should have been called:The Expatriate Act of 2002. Off-shore tax-dodge corporations now represent Bush's largest bloc of unwavering international support.

If John"Big House"Poindexter'sTotal Information Awareness Systemis worth anything at all, it should be able to quickly determine that the greatest threat to the United States of America is headquartered at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Another rideron the Homeland Security bill protects Eli Lily against lawsuits that arise from vaccinations developed by the firm. So Lily has been inoculated against ethical behavior and corporate responsibility.

Even worse,the Lily rider opens the gates for the government to foment panic and then force everyone into being used as guinea pigs for any sort of shot they want to give us. Afterwards, the surviving mutants won't even be allowed to sue.

No vaccination without (legal) representation!

We should face reality and rename this countryThe United Police States of America.

The creationof the new Department of Homeland Security represented the adoption of the Articles of Confederation of the United Police States of America.

Shocking revelation of the week:It has been proven that Roger Ailes of Fair and Balanced Fox advises Bush through back channels -- as if doing it through his cable channel weren't enough!

Hot fashion rumor:Trent Loutis having his tailors make him a new cowl to wear when he is reconsecrated as Senate Majority Leader.

Thanks to a decisionmade last week by a panel of federal judges, theCIA can now work with local prosecutorsin the investigation of alleged enemies of the US. This codifies the use of fiction in any and all indictments. It use to be that they made cases, now all they have to do is fabricate them. CABA foreign policy czar Richard Perlehas disclosed that the US will attack Iraq"no matter what."In other words, after the US bully makes the Iraqis jump through every hoop in the schoolyard it will still will beat them up and take their lunch money (oil fields.)

The CABA has eased clean air mandatesto allow utilities, refineries and manufacturers to avoid the installation of new anti-pollution equipment when they modernize their plants. Only W could come up with a plan thatequates environmental suicide with modernization.

After speaking in favor of this travesty, we should now refer to the EPA Director as: Christie"Nit"Whitman.

This is a"twofer"for Bush.He gets to reward the corporate criminal element that owns him while poisoning the Northeast, where there are large concentrations of people who voted against him and managed to get their ballots counted.

This reduction of environmental standards will kill thousands of innocents in sort of a time-release 9-11.

Give him credit,CAP Bush has found a way to sentence the Northeast to the gas chamber.

In the battle of Nancy Pelosi vs. Tom DeLay, I'll take alatte liberalover thefrothing fascistevery time.

updated: 17 years ago