Skip to main content _

Barry Crimmins

words to live near



Quips & Comments 1-12-02 Saturday, January 12, 2002

If Enron reorganizes and manages to remain in business it should change its name to "Take the money Enron."

There is an upside to this gargantuan scandal -- for once voters can't be held responsible for the mess we're in.

Don't blame me, I'm from the United States!

What Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham should have buried in the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste repository he is shoving down Nevada's throat is the record of all the money he took from the nuclear industry when he was running for U.S. Senate in Michigan.

Spencer Abraham hasn't the energy to avoid conflicts of interest.

What's next? Word that Osama bin Laden got tipped to dump his Enron stock while it was still wildly over-valued?

Today's fun fact: Did you know that the average court-appointed Bush Administration official is more likely to have ties to Enron than reality?

A court put Bush in the White House and a court might well end up removing him.

Live by the gavel, die by the gavel.

Unless you're Ken Lay it's easier to track down J.D. Salinger than Dick Cheney yet Lay met with the court-appointed veep several times last year. But Jr's people still expect us to believe Lay doesn't have "special access."

There's a hot rumor that Cheney has been dead for years and only remained active thanks to the efforts of a dedicated group of Dick Cheney re-enactors.

Lay meets regularly with a man who may have been dead for years and we're supposed to believe that's not special access??

Considering his success gaining access to Cheney maybe we should send Ken Lay to find bin Laden.

Since the bin Laden chase is all that stands between Bush and complete national obsession with the Take the Money Enron scandal, we'd better make sure that Osama isn't holed up in Cheney's cabin at Camp David.

Take the Money Enron Chief Ken Lay spoke with Commerce Secretary Don Evans and Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill months ago and made it clear that his firm was on the verge of fiscal calamity. Neither cabinet official bothered to inform their court-appointed boss of the discussions. So what if one of the world's largest corporations was about to collapse under the weight of its own nefarious deeds? Why bother the designated prez with such piddling matters when he already had his hands full destroying the environment, shredding the Bill of Rights and servicing the Religious Right?