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Barry Crimmins

words to live near



Quips & Comments 1-11-02 Friday, January 11, 2002

Say what you will about Enron's front office but if they hadn't lied about the corporation's viability to inflate its stock value, then dumped the stock before the duped had a chance to escape, they would have never been able to become fully vested fiscal participants in our democratic process.

Energy prices are about to spike again due to demand created by Enron accounting firm Arthur Andersen LLP running their shredders 24/7 to destroy evidence of Enron's boundless malfeasance.

What's Arthur Andersen think LLP stand for? Let's Loot People?

Because he had benefited from Enron's weakness for owning and operating reactionary politicians, Attorney General John Ashcroft has had to recuse himself from involvement in the investigations of the corporation now more synonymous with cooking books than Betty Crocker. This admission of conflict of interest sets a dangerous precedent for the Court-appointed Bush Administration because the only thing involving the current regime Enron hasn't bought is Jenna Bush's bar tab.

Before this is over let's pray Bush is forced into recusing the presidency because of his blatant conflict of interest.

Bush's recent "not over my dead body quote" was a slip of his court-appointed tongue. What he meant to say was, "not over my dead brain." Unfortunately because he is brain-dead he botched the remark.

At least he didn't really blow it and call to mind Enron by saying "not over my dead credibility."

Let's cut to the chase on this Enron thing and have a sweaty W. give his "I am not a crook" speech now.

Enron chief Ken Lay was one of W's "pioneers" who raised at least $100,000 for Dubyahoo's White House run in 2000. It's now clear that Enron's pension plan was looked upon as Indian land by pioneer Lay.

It won't be long before people realize that a Lay in the Oval Office is a hell of a lot worse than a blow job.

Prediction: Bush allies will soon be telling us impeachment would make the country too vulnerable to terrorist acts.

Truth: Enron's despicable conduct was an act of fiscal terrorism that has ruined thousands of innocent American families.

More Truth: If this country can survive the way Jr. Bush stole the office it can survive the way he is run from it.

White House Assistant Prevaricator Fleisher said "the American people are tired of partisan witch hunts and endless investigations." Right, the Republicans saw to that during the Clinton Administration.

That was a pretty ingenious strategy- wear us out with abuses of investigatory authority before committing crimes that scream for investigation.

If someone gets murdered after someone else is acquitted after a long, very public murder trial then the next murder shouldn't be investigated, eh, Ari?

If this is a witch hunt, the Court-appointed Bush Administration is a coven and that guy with the warts and the pointy hat is the president.

Bush should soon be traveling on Broom One.

The Supreme Court has ruled that to qualify as disabled a person must have substantial limitations on abilities "central to daily life." Not only does the Court-appointed president qualify (due to ethical and intellectual incapacitations) but he has generously gone out of his way to make sure that thousands of innocent Afghans qualify as well.

Maybe this means Enron pensioners and stockholders qualify as well.