CrimQuips
Quips & Comments 6-18-02 Tuesday, June 18, 2002
by Barry Crimmins
http://www.barrycrimmins.com
OK, OK, there was no real dirty bomb but look at the bright side -- now that Ashcroft has gotten so much publicity for the devices perhaps someone will be inspired to try to plant and detonate one.
And when that happens the government will be well-practiced at detaining any suspects without charges or trials.
It turns out alleged dirty bomb plotter Abdullah al-Muhajir won't be so isolated after all. Ashcroft's next plan is to make Stephen L. Butler, the lieutenant colonel who criticized Bush in a letter to a newspaper, Abdullah's cellmate.
At first Lt. Col Butler just had to worry about charges of insubordination for criticizing Bush but now may face espionage counts for divulging the state secret that the court-appointed president is a moron. When Ashcroft couldn't make a case in thirty days against Abdullah al-Muhajir, the Kaiser had him declared an "enemy combatant" so a special new wing of a South Carolina naval prison, built especially for muted scapegoats, wouldn't go to waste.
It stands to reason that only a "combatant" would be able to fight charges. One thing is certain, there's a much better case against the Court-appointed Bush Administration for negligence surrounding 9-11 than there is against Abdullah al-Muhajir for the alleged dirty bomb plot. Of course that's why the Court-appointed Bush Administration will make sure it does whatever it must to keep information about either circumstance from the American people and certainly nowhere near a courtroom. It appears the worst thing they might be able to prove against Abdullah al-Muhajir is that he was studying how to potentially damage the American people. If that's all it takes to lock some one up and throw away the key then Arthur Andersen and Enron officials should have been detained while they were still in business school. The one thing we already have learned from the Abdullah al-Muhajir case is that self-styled patriots Bush, Cheney and Ashcroft have no use for the American system of jurisprudence. It's not the first time fascist intent has been wrapped in a flag. If the Court-appointed Bush Administration were to stage the Wizard of Oz, Dick Cheney would be the Tin Man but of course they'd have to give him a new heart three times during the production.
Ashcroft would naturally be the Cowardly Liar. We won't even go into the obvious casting for the Scarecrow. (Whistle the "brain refrain" to yourself and then please move on to the next quip) You don't suppose that disclosures of the September 11 installation of a Cipro dispenser by the White House staff water cooler have anything to do with the sudden and more dramatic revelations about nuclear terrorism, do you?
What I want to know is if the people who handled Bush's outgoing mail were the first to receive Cipro.
Sometimes you have to give Bush credit. He said he was going to ignore the facts about global warming and just a few days later his court-appointed administration has allowed power companies to greatly increase the amount of pollutants released into the atmosphere by coal-burning plants. Such integrity!
The State Department is warning U.S. citizens "to use caution when traveling to Venezuela," because of "unstable political environment and unpredictable security situation." In other words, they don't want Americans meeting and mixing with people who believe so strongly in democracy that they will take to the streets to prohibit their government from being stolen.
They woudn't want us to get the right idea. What the warning actually means: we are trying like hell to back the Venezuelan corporate media's attempt to mount another assault on the legitimate government so unless you are with the CIA or running a School of the Americas Outward Bound Summer Mayhem Field Trip, this would be a good time to get your ass out of Venezuela. A federal jury awarded $4.4 million in damages to Earth First activists Darryl Cherney and the late Judi Bari after they were arrested by the FBI and Oakland, Ca. police for being blown up by a pipe bomb that had been planed in Bari's car. This means the government will no longer attempt to blame domestic bombing victims for being attacked but it still plans to use the tactic as a main plank in US foreign policy. When contrasted with the fortifications it will throw up now that people are asking questions about its finances, the Catholic Church will seem like it's been positively forthright about child molester priests. Vermont will soon require pharmaceutical companies to disclose their gifts and cash payments to physicians, hospitals and other health care providers. Big Pharma has responded by warning that it will be left with no choice but to pass along the cost of all the new super-computers, needed to store such copious data, to patients in the Green Mountain State. Henry Kissinger may be extradited by Chile to testify about his knowledge and involvement in the overthrow of Salvador Allende and the carnage that followed. Kissinger says he'd be happy to make the trip, it's just that it would violate the mass murderer's uniform code of conduct for him to make an incursion on General Pinochet's turf without first receiving his permission. It turns out that the sounds picked up on microphones placed by wildlife researchers in Louisiana were not the tapping of the supposedly extinct ivory-billed woodpecker but instead distant gunshots. On a more encouraging note, one of the shots targeted and hit the last remaining ivory-billed woodpecker so now researchers can label them as "extinct" without any qualms. NO JOKE
The Minnesota Green Party is running Ed McGaa against incumbent Democratic U.S. Senator Paul Wellstone and darling of the Court-appointed Bush Administration, Norm Coleman, in the fall election. Coleman is a knuckle-dragger, who could win, especially if McGaa divides progressive voters.
The Green is not a strong candidate, particularly since he has sided with Wellstone concerning his (ill-advised, in my view) support for the Purported War on Terrorism. It was that stand that supposedly cost Wellstone Green support. So what's the point? The Minny Greens need to realize that Paul Wellstone is about as close to a decent human being as we will see in the Oldest Boys Club of them all -- the US Senate. The Minnesota Senate campaign is an ill-chosen spot for this Green electoral incursion. McGaa is not a savvy politician but if he's a decent person he will back out of this race and endorse Paul Wellstone. Let's hope that in the fall of 2002 Minnesota does not become the Land of 10,000 Lakes and One Really Big Mistake. And that's no joke.
2002 Barry Crimmins
http://www.barrycrimmins.com
OK, OK, there was no real dirty bomb but look at the bright side -- now that Ashcroft has gotten so much publicity for the devices perhaps someone will be inspired to try to plant and detonate one.
And when that happens the government will be well-practiced at detaining any suspects without charges or trials.
It turns out alleged dirty bomb plotter Abdullah al-Muhajir won't be so isolated after all. Ashcroft's next plan is to make Stephen L. Butler, the lieutenant colonel who criticized Bush in a letter to a newspaper, Abdullah's cellmate.
At first Lt. Col Butler just had to worry about charges of insubordination for criticizing Bush but now may face espionage counts for divulging the state secret that the court-appointed president is a moron. When Ashcroft couldn't make a case in thirty days against Abdullah al-Muhajir, the Kaiser had him declared an "enemy combatant" so a special new wing of a South Carolina naval prison, built especially for muted scapegoats, wouldn't go to waste.
It stands to reason that only a "combatant" would be able to fight charges. One thing is certain, there's a much better case against the Court-appointed Bush Administration for negligence surrounding 9-11 than there is against Abdullah al-Muhajir for the alleged dirty bomb plot. Of course that's why the Court-appointed Bush Administration will make sure it does whatever it must to keep information about either circumstance from the American people and certainly nowhere near a courtroom. It appears the worst thing they might be able to prove against Abdullah al-Muhajir is that he was studying how to potentially damage the American people. If that's all it takes to lock some one up and throw away the key then Arthur Andersen and Enron officials should have been detained while they were still in business school. The one thing we already have learned from the Abdullah al-Muhajir case is that self-styled patriots Bush, Cheney and Ashcroft have no use for the American system of jurisprudence. It's not the first time fascist intent has been wrapped in a flag. If the Court-appointed Bush Administration were to stage the Wizard of Oz, Dick Cheney would be the Tin Man but of course they'd have to give him a new heart three times during the production.
Ashcroft would naturally be the Cowardly Liar. We won't even go into the obvious casting for the Scarecrow. (Whistle the "brain refrain" to yourself and then please move on to the next quip) You don't suppose that disclosures of the September 11 installation of a Cipro dispenser by the White House staff water cooler have anything to do with the sudden and more dramatic revelations about nuclear terrorism, do you?
What I want to know is if the people who handled Bush's outgoing mail were the first to receive Cipro.
Sometimes you have to give Bush credit. He said he was going to ignore the facts about global warming and just a few days later his court-appointed administration has allowed power companies to greatly increase the amount of pollutants released into the atmosphere by coal-burning plants. Such integrity!
The State Department is warning U.S. citizens "to use caution when traveling to Venezuela," because of "unstable political environment and unpredictable security situation." In other words, they don't want Americans meeting and mixing with people who believe so strongly in democracy that they will take to the streets to prohibit their government from being stolen.
They woudn't want us to get the right idea. What the warning actually means: we are trying like hell to back the Venezuelan corporate media's attempt to mount another assault on the legitimate government so unless you are with the CIA or running a School of the Americas Outward Bound Summer Mayhem Field Trip, this would be a good time to get your ass out of Venezuela. A federal jury awarded $4.4 million in damages to Earth First activists Darryl Cherney and the late Judi Bari after they were arrested by the FBI and Oakland, Ca. police for being blown up by a pipe bomb that had been planed in Bari's car. This means the government will no longer attempt to blame domestic bombing victims for being attacked but it still plans to use the tactic as a main plank in US foreign policy. When contrasted with the fortifications it will throw up now that people are asking questions about its finances, the Catholic Church will seem like it's been positively forthright about child molester priests. Vermont will soon require pharmaceutical companies to disclose their gifts and cash payments to physicians, hospitals and other health care providers. Big Pharma has responded by warning that it will be left with no choice but to pass along the cost of all the new super-computers, needed to store such copious data, to patients in the Green Mountain State. Henry Kissinger may be extradited by Chile to testify about his knowledge and involvement in the overthrow of Salvador Allende and the carnage that followed. Kissinger says he'd be happy to make the trip, it's just that it would violate the mass murderer's uniform code of conduct for him to make an incursion on General Pinochet's turf without first receiving his permission. It turns out that the sounds picked up on microphones placed by wildlife researchers in Louisiana were not the tapping of the supposedly extinct ivory-billed woodpecker but instead distant gunshots. On a more encouraging note, one of the shots targeted and hit the last remaining ivory-billed woodpecker so now researchers can label them as "extinct" without any qualms. NO JOKE
The Minnesota Green Party is running Ed McGaa against incumbent Democratic U.S. Senator Paul Wellstone and darling of the Court-appointed Bush Administration, Norm Coleman, in the fall election. Coleman is a knuckle-dragger, who could win, especially if McGaa divides progressive voters.
The Green is not a strong candidate, particularly since he has sided with Wellstone concerning his (ill-advised, in my view) support for the Purported War on Terrorism. It was that stand that supposedly cost Wellstone Green support. So what's the point? The Minny Greens need to realize that Paul Wellstone is about as close to a decent human being as we will see in the Oldest Boys Club of them all -- the US Senate. The Minnesota Senate campaign is an ill-chosen spot for this Green electoral incursion. McGaa is not a savvy politician but if he's a decent person he will back out of this race and endorse Paul Wellstone. Let's hope that in the fall of 2002 Minnesota does not become the Land of 10,000 Lakes and One Really Big Mistake. And that's no joke.
2002 Barry Crimmins