CrimQuips
Quips & Comments 5-31-02 Friday, May 31, 2002
10- Tom Rigid -- Human bookmark running an office that was contrived to distract us from the fact that the executive branch is supposed to pull together intelligence reports and respond appropriately. Won't explain his job because he has no idea what it is.
9- The Drug War - Where Jim Crow meets Joe McCarthy to help revive the Monroe Doctrine.
8- Donald Rumsfeld, the only person to make the Most Unwanted list in both the Seventies and the new millennium. Should be reassigned as a guinea pig for Pentagon nerve gas tests.
7- Otto Reich - To quote the great Randy Credico: Otto has two older siblings so he's the Third Reich.
6- Trent Lout -- To paraphrase Phil Ochs: Mississippi Senator find yourself another country to be part of.
5- The Supremacist Court- The goalie for the Bill of Rights has been pulled and is now playing offense for the other team.
4- George Herbert Walker Bush- We asked him to leave in no uncertain terms in 1992 and he has returned via coup d'etat and proxy. This former CIA director needs to have his governmental influence terminated with extreme prejudice.
2- (Tie because they both have same job) Shadow Cheney, Only emerges from his pit to hiss at us about how unpatriotic it is to expect accountability from our public officials. Time to gather the garlic, crosses and wooden stakes, track him to his secret lair, throw open the shutters and blinds and let solar energy do its stuff. 2-(Tie) George W. Bush -- Unwanted at the polls, unaware at the helm, unethical at all times. He needs to be made Unpresident.
1- Kaiser John Ashcroft aka/ Weekend at Carnahan's. This would-be 700 Club lounge act, only believes in integration of church and state. Should be the Attorney General of the NRA not the United States. The man uses the Bill of Rights for bathroom tissue. It's time we flushed him.
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And now a new section: No Joke
During the hours CNN spent covering an Oregon mountain-climbing accident that led to a rescue helicopter crash yesterday, a newscrawl at the bottom of the screen occasionally informed viewers that the "United Nations reports 10 million people in four South African nations are on the brink of starvation."
10 million starving people, and CNN didn't deem it appropriate to let us know which four nations they were in -- not while we were busy watching a tapeloop of footage of a helicopter crash that resulted in one serious injury near where some thrill-seekers fell into a crevasse and three people died. Well, condolences to the three families and good luck to everyone but perhaps CNN should have considered breaking away to actually cover the story of the 10 million starving people. In fairness, CNN was the cable media hero here, MSNBC and FOX NEWS didn't even include the famine story in their newscrawls.
Three dead Americans and a few more injured result in totally vigilant coverage. Millions are starving and there's no need for anything more than the most cursory of mentions to the inhabitants of the Land of Breakfast Pizza. I can't do much to help mountain-climbers who fall into crevasses. I can't assist at the mountaintop scene of a copter crash in Oregon but I could write a check to a relief agency. I could get more informed about how we could redirect some of our abundance in the United States to people dying for lack of life's basics. I know this much: I'd rather die quickly from a fall or in a plane crash than starve to death slowly while the world looked the other way at flashier events because they featured "sexier" video.
The sad truth is that the corporate media will always choose covering sensational potential deaths rather than concern itself with with slow, painful and preventable deaths. And that's no joke. (The four countries facing famine are: Malawi, Zimbabwe, Lesotho and Swaziland. details available from the UN website (link below) now if I can do that, why can't CNN?)
2002 Barry Crimmins
9- The Drug War - Where Jim Crow meets Joe McCarthy to help revive the Monroe Doctrine.
8- Donald Rumsfeld, the only person to make the Most Unwanted list in both the Seventies and the new millennium. Should be reassigned as a guinea pig for Pentagon nerve gas tests.
7- Otto Reich - To quote the great Randy Credico: Otto has two older siblings so he's the Third Reich.
6- Trent Lout -- To paraphrase Phil Ochs: Mississippi Senator find yourself another country to be part of.
5- The Supremacist Court- The goalie for the Bill of Rights has been pulled and is now playing offense for the other team.
4- George Herbert Walker Bush- We asked him to leave in no uncertain terms in 1992 and he has returned via coup d'etat and proxy. This former CIA director needs to have his governmental influence terminated with extreme prejudice.
2- (Tie because they both have same job) Shadow Cheney, Only emerges from his pit to hiss at us about how unpatriotic it is to expect accountability from our public officials. Time to gather the garlic, crosses and wooden stakes, track him to his secret lair, throw open the shutters and blinds and let solar energy do its stuff. 2-(Tie) George W. Bush -- Unwanted at the polls, unaware at the helm, unethical at all times. He needs to be made Unpresident.
1- Kaiser John Ashcroft aka/ Weekend at Carnahan's. This would-be 700 Club lounge act, only believes in integration of church and state. Should be the Attorney General of the NRA not the United States. The man uses the Bill of Rights for bathroom tissue. It's time we flushed him.
/////////////////////
And now a new section: No Joke
During the hours CNN spent covering an Oregon mountain-climbing accident that led to a rescue helicopter crash yesterday, a newscrawl at the bottom of the screen occasionally informed viewers that the "United Nations reports 10 million people in four South African nations are on the brink of starvation."
10 million starving people, and CNN didn't deem it appropriate to let us know which four nations they were in -- not while we were busy watching a tapeloop of footage of a helicopter crash that resulted in one serious injury near where some thrill-seekers fell into a crevasse and three people died. Well, condolences to the three families and good luck to everyone but perhaps CNN should have considered breaking away to actually cover the story of the 10 million starving people. In fairness, CNN was the cable media hero here, MSNBC and FOX NEWS didn't even include the famine story in their newscrawls.
Three dead Americans and a few more injured result in totally vigilant coverage. Millions are starving and there's no need for anything more than the most cursory of mentions to the inhabitants of the Land of Breakfast Pizza. I can't do much to help mountain-climbers who fall into crevasses. I can't assist at the mountaintop scene of a copter crash in Oregon but I could write a check to a relief agency. I could get more informed about how we could redirect some of our abundance in the United States to people dying for lack of life's basics. I know this much: I'd rather die quickly from a fall or in a plane crash than starve to death slowly while the world looked the other way at flashier events because they featured "sexier" video.
The sad truth is that the corporate media will always choose covering sensational potential deaths rather than concern itself with with slow, painful and preventable deaths. And that's no joke. (The four countries facing famine are: Malawi, Zimbabwe, Lesotho and Swaziland. details available from the UN website (link below) now if I can do that, why can't CNN?)
2002 Barry Crimmins