CrimQuips
Quips & Comments 2-23-02 Saturday, February 23, 2002
by Barry Crimmins
Profound thanks to the people of Asia for watching George W Bush for us this week. We really needed the break.
Iran- Contra scoundrels Elliot Abrams, John Negroponte and now John Poindexter have all been given influential jobs in the Court-appointed Bush Administration. Apparently a rap sheet is much better than a resume if you are looking for work with W.
Watching Dubyahoo give a speech in another country is like being forced to sit through a school assembly featuring the rambling opinions of an embarrassing uncle who has wandered out of the bar at American Legion long enough to explain his world view to your flabbergasted classmates.
Afterwards you just know your classmates will never really trust you again.
During his visit Bush offered China an opportunity to become the 51st police state.
UPSA! USPA!! UPSA!!!
Bush had planned to browbeat the Chinese on the issue of human rights but when he opened his folder on the matter he found his prepared remarks had been replaced with a note stating: "We are in basic accord with the Chinese as regards human rights- J Ashcroft"
Bush then fumbled into some previously unpublished text from a Pearl S. Buck novel concerning zeal for bringing faith-based oppression to the Chinese.
W hoped to convince the Chinese that suppression of religious freedom is a tedious task but the imposition of religious dogma can be fun for the entire government.
Emboldened by his own trumped-up status at home, W now feels eligible to browbeat foreigners with his spiritual superstitions. Perhaps the foreign pagans will find God so they can also play fast and loose with the future of humanity while acting as if their corrupt and irresponsible behavior is a Divine commission.
After his speech Bush attended a reception for several hundred Chinese fetuses just so he could provide them with healthcare.
Who better to fight a war on terrorism than veterans of the struggle to keep death squads funded and armed to the teeth?
If anyone knows terrorism, it's these guys.
Now if W feels he needs to funnel arms to Axis of Evil member nation Iran, he has Poindexter right there to reopen some old channels.
A federal judge has revoked the United States citizenship of John Demjanjuk, the Cleveland man alleged to have been a Nazi death camp guard. Within hours, the Justice Department offered to restore Demjanjuk's citizenship, providing he agree to supervise interrogations at the US prison camp in Guantanamo Bay.
That was quite a performance by Rumsfeld on Thursday. He went out of his way to refrain from apologizing for the murders of 16 innocent people by US troops. He said plenty otherwise, "Of course the US killed the innocent people, some of them had actually begun to defend themselves! Of course there were dead people found shot and handcuffed. Everyone knows that the first thing you do with a fatally wounded innocent person is to handcuff him. That way you are freed up to beat confessions out of non-fatally wounded innocent people."
If Bush is "Smirk", Rumsfeld is "Sneer."
Yesterday Rummy sneered at the wasted lives of 16 people. The Defense Secretary's outright refusal to apologize for the murders is an unconscionable insult to all innocent victims of violence. This includes the late and lamented Steven Pearl and everyone who was massacred on September 11.
2002 Barry Crimmins
Profound thanks to the people of Asia for watching George W Bush for us this week. We really needed the break.
Iran- Contra scoundrels Elliot Abrams, John Negroponte and now John Poindexter have all been given influential jobs in the Court-appointed Bush Administration. Apparently a rap sheet is much better than a resume if you are looking for work with W.
Watching Dubyahoo give a speech in another country is like being forced to sit through a school assembly featuring the rambling opinions of an embarrassing uncle who has wandered out of the bar at American Legion long enough to explain his world view to your flabbergasted classmates.
Afterwards you just know your classmates will never really trust you again.
During his visit Bush offered China an opportunity to become the 51st police state.
UPSA! USPA!! UPSA!!!
Bush had planned to browbeat the Chinese on the issue of human rights but when he opened his folder on the matter he found his prepared remarks had been replaced with a note stating: "We are in basic accord with the Chinese as regards human rights- J Ashcroft"
Bush then fumbled into some previously unpublished text from a Pearl S. Buck novel concerning zeal for bringing faith-based oppression to the Chinese.
W hoped to convince the Chinese that suppression of religious freedom is a tedious task but the imposition of religious dogma can be fun for the entire government.
Emboldened by his own trumped-up status at home, W now feels eligible to browbeat foreigners with his spiritual superstitions. Perhaps the foreign pagans will find God so they can also play fast and loose with the future of humanity while acting as if their corrupt and irresponsible behavior is a Divine commission.
After his speech Bush attended a reception for several hundred Chinese fetuses just so he could provide them with healthcare.
Who better to fight a war on terrorism than veterans of the struggle to keep death squads funded and armed to the teeth?
If anyone knows terrorism, it's these guys.
Now if W feels he needs to funnel arms to Axis of Evil member nation Iran, he has Poindexter right there to reopen some old channels.
A federal judge has revoked the United States citizenship of John Demjanjuk, the Cleveland man alleged to have been a Nazi death camp guard. Within hours, the Justice Department offered to restore Demjanjuk's citizenship, providing he agree to supervise interrogations at the US prison camp in Guantanamo Bay.
That was quite a performance by Rumsfeld on Thursday. He went out of his way to refrain from apologizing for the murders of 16 innocent people by US troops. He said plenty otherwise, "Of course the US killed the innocent people, some of them had actually begun to defend themselves! Of course there were dead people found shot and handcuffed. Everyone knows that the first thing you do with a fatally wounded innocent person is to handcuff him. That way you are freed up to beat confessions out of non-fatally wounded innocent people."
If Bush is "Smirk", Rumsfeld is "Sneer."
Yesterday Rummy sneered at the wasted lives of 16 people. The Defense Secretary's outright refusal to apologize for the murders is an unconscionable insult to all innocent victims of violence. This includes the late and lamented Steven Pearl and everyone who was massacred on September 11.
2002 Barry Crimmins