CrimQuips
Quips & Comments 2-13-02 Wednesday, February 13, 2002
by Barry Crimmins
Al Gore has been made an honorary member of the Canadian Figure Skating Team.
Ken Lay was quite unhappy with senators' questions and comments at Tuesday's hearing.... so he fired several of them.
Did Ken Lay study tapes of Hermann Goering at Nuremberg so he could mimic Goering and comport himself with maximum insolence towards a tribunal that clearly had an ironclad case against him?
Of course that isn't really fair to Goering -- at least he answered questions at Nuremberg.
Komodo Dragons have more pleasant expressions than the one Lay wore at the Senate hearing.
The only thing the benefit of the doubt could provide Ken Lay and his corporate cronies is that they were, at best, criminally negligent . The criminally negligent are still criminals so if they want to cop to criminal negligence that destroyed thousands of families, no doubt there is a federal penitentiary somewhere that will stand long enough for them to serve their sentences in it.
Dick Cheney continues to maintain that he's unaccountable to the GAO, the voters or anyone else as regards his energy policy meetings in which Enron obviously held major sway. Perhaps he'd feel more accountable had he actually been elected to the office he took last year.
This is just another reminder why it's a good idea to only have elected officials serve as president and vice-president.
Court-appointed President Bush, says the Salt Lake City Olympics should be patriotic tribute to U.S. virtues. US Olympians will celebrate W's virtues by rounding up members of other Olympic teams, holding them against their wills and beating them senseless for not admitting doing things they never did.
US Olympic figure skater Sasha Cohen told NBC's Bob Costas that W told her he couldn't stay to watch any events at the games because "I've got a war to fight." Bush then boarded Air Force One and flew to Nebraska.
Court-appointed President Bush has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. He'd better hope the balloting takes place in Florida or else Kissinger still has whatever he dosed the committee's drinks with back in the Seventies.
W in consideration for a Nobel Peace Prize? Why not go all the way and nominate Ariel Sharon?
The news of the Bush Nobel Peace Prize nomination must be providing a bit of comic relief from all the tension being felt in Iran, Iraq and North Korea.
This "Axis of Evil" stuff is a real low point. W's managed to destroy any chance of moderates gaining ground in Iran and North Korea while once again rattling sabers at Iraq. In the process he's made the entire world much more dangerous and violent. Is there anything this clown could do to get himself removed from consideration for a Nobel Peace Prize.
The United States is run by an Axis of Weasels. Weasels of greed, stupidity, arrogance, corruption and oppression, to name a few.
OK, weasels and one chimp-like creature.
The current Shays-Meehan campaign Finance Reform bill would only force soft money from the federal to the state level. It is about as much of a reform as Hillary Clinton's health care plan that would have done nothing more than formally socialize the cost of obscene profits for insurance companies. We don't need Shays-Meehan, we need publicly financed elections -- just like we need single payer health care. Anything less, in either case, is nothing more than a scam. Don't be a sucker, demand the real things from your legislators.
2002 Barry Crimmins
Al Gore has been made an honorary member of the Canadian Figure Skating Team.
Ken Lay was quite unhappy with senators' questions and comments at Tuesday's hearing.... so he fired several of them.
Did Ken Lay study tapes of Hermann Goering at Nuremberg so he could mimic Goering and comport himself with maximum insolence towards a tribunal that clearly had an ironclad case against him?
Of course that isn't really fair to Goering -- at least he answered questions at Nuremberg.
Komodo Dragons have more pleasant expressions than the one Lay wore at the Senate hearing.
The only thing the benefit of the doubt could provide Ken Lay and his corporate cronies is that they were, at best, criminally negligent . The criminally negligent are still criminals so if they want to cop to criminal negligence that destroyed thousands of families, no doubt there is a federal penitentiary somewhere that will stand long enough for them to serve their sentences in it.
Dick Cheney continues to maintain that he's unaccountable to the GAO, the voters or anyone else as regards his energy policy meetings in which Enron obviously held major sway. Perhaps he'd feel more accountable had he actually been elected to the office he took last year.
This is just another reminder why it's a good idea to only have elected officials serve as president and vice-president.
Court-appointed President Bush, says the Salt Lake City Olympics should be patriotic tribute to U.S. virtues. US Olympians will celebrate W's virtues by rounding up members of other Olympic teams, holding them against their wills and beating them senseless for not admitting doing things they never did.
US Olympic figure skater Sasha Cohen told NBC's Bob Costas that W told her he couldn't stay to watch any events at the games because "I've got a war to fight." Bush then boarded Air Force One and flew to Nebraska.
Court-appointed President Bush has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. He'd better hope the balloting takes place in Florida or else Kissinger still has whatever he dosed the committee's drinks with back in the Seventies.
W in consideration for a Nobel Peace Prize? Why not go all the way and nominate Ariel Sharon?
The news of the Bush Nobel Peace Prize nomination must be providing a bit of comic relief from all the tension being felt in Iran, Iraq and North Korea.
This "Axis of Evil" stuff is a real low point. W's managed to destroy any chance of moderates gaining ground in Iran and North Korea while once again rattling sabers at Iraq. In the process he's made the entire world much more dangerous and violent. Is there anything this clown could do to get himself removed from consideration for a Nobel Peace Prize.
The United States is run by an Axis of Weasels. Weasels of greed, stupidity, arrogance, corruption and oppression, to name a few.
OK, weasels and one chimp-like creature.
The current Shays-Meehan campaign Finance Reform bill would only force soft money from the federal to the state level. It is about as much of a reform as Hillary Clinton's health care plan that would have done nothing more than formally socialize the cost of obscene profits for insurance companies. We don't need Shays-Meehan, we need publicly financed elections -- just like we need single payer health care. Anything less, in either case, is nothing more than a scam. Don't be a sucker, demand the real things from your legislators.
2002 Barry Crimmins