CrimQuips
Quips & Comments 4-5-02 Friday, April 5, 2002
by Barry Crimmins
The Court-appointed Bush administration, at the insistence of ExxonMobil, is trying to remove Robert Watson, the British scientist who is chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. If they succeed it will move thoughts of global warming to the back burner and fossil fuel drilling and consumption will remain on front burner, continuing its fast-boil.
Next on ExxonMobil's wish list is a merger of the Environmental Protection Agency with the Treasury Department.
EPATreasury would not have a secretary but instead be run by a CEO.
Ken Lay has let it be known that he is available to serve at EPATreasury if his country calls.
Court-appointed President Bush has had enough of the West Bank violence. It's cutting into all the good press he's been getting for spreading violence so many other places.
It would save time and at least some lives for Palestinian suicide bombers to just blow themselves up in their own West Bank neighborhoods. The death toll would be much lower than if they kill innocent Israelis and then Sharon takes revenge on even more innocent Palestinians.
Then again, Sharon would probably launch retaliatory rocket attacks on any Palestinian neighborhood that allowed a suicide bomber to kill its people.
If the documents allegedly found in Yasir Arafat's office really link him to suicide bombing operations, that is quite damning -- but no less damning than Israeli agents coming in and summarily executing Arafat's bodyguards and then rifling his office.
A government that has no qualms about killing another head of state's bodyguards when they are defenseless (they were shot in the back of the head) and then rifling that leader's offices would never stoop so low as to plant false information, would it?
What kind of documents do you suppose you'd find in Ariel Sharon's office. Nothing damning there, I'm sure!
And what kind of documents would you find in Bush's office? And by that I mean deep down below the video game instructions and coloring books.
You know, the ones Cheney has to read to him.
Has anyone caught Ashleigh Banfield's get-up lately? I didn't realize that MSNBC had an Armored News Division.
She has a helmet so big that she now resembles an NFL bobbing head doll.
So far two journalists have been shot on the West Bank: Carlos Handal, a Palestinian cameraman and Anthony Shadid an Arab-American Boston Globe reporter. Perhaps Banfield's best defense isn't her futon-sized flak jacket or her Dukakis memorial helmet -- it's her last name!
If Sharon really wants to get rid of Yasir Arafat, he should pull Israeli troops out of the West Bank and allow the Palestinians to go about the democratic selection of a leader. In all likelihood that leader will not be Arafat. It's not as if the man's shortcomings are a West Bank state secret.
It is no longer accurate to say that Arafat is under house arrest. "Rubble arrest" is more like it.
That Arafat really must be a powerful guy, he is sitting in a pile of rubble, his security staff has been massacred and Bush and Sharon keep insisting he is the only one who can end the violence.
Bush admonished Arafat to immediately resume "security cooperation" with Israel against terrorism. This will be kind of tough considering how Israel has wiped out most of Arafat's security forces.
Attempting to establish security cooperation with Sharon is like trying to enter into a poison control program with a cobra.
If the Israelis want the suicide bombers caught before they can act how come they keep wiping out the only people who might have a chance of achieving that goal? It's amazing how easily missile attacks on police headquarters and jails can compromise the efficacy of law enforcement.
It's kind of hard to lock up a terrorist in a jail that consists of debris.
The Court-appointed Bush administration, at the insistence of ExxonMobil, is trying to remove Robert Watson, the British scientist who is chairman of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. If they succeed it will move thoughts of global warming to the back burner and fossil fuel drilling and consumption will remain on front burner, continuing its fast-boil.
Next on ExxonMobil's wish list is a merger of the Environmental Protection Agency with the Treasury Department.
EPATreasury would not have a secretary but instead be run by a CEO.
Ken Lay has let it be known that he is available to serve at EPATreasury if his country calls.
Court-appointed President Bush has had enough of the West Bank violence. It's cutting into all the good press he's been getting for spreading violence so many other places.
It would save time and at least some lives for Palestinian suicide bombers to just blow themselves up in their own West Bank neighborhoods. The death toll would be much lower than if they kill innocent Israelis and then Sharon takes revenge on even more innocent Palestinians.
Then again, Sharon would probably launch retaliatory rocket attacks on any Palestinian neighborhood that allowed a suicide bomber to kill its people.
If the documents allegedly found in Yasir Arafat's office really link him to suicide bombing operations, that is quite damning -- but no less damning than Israeli agents coming in and summarily executing Arafat's bodyguards and then rifling his office.
A government that has no qualms about killing another head of state's bodyguards when they are defenseless (they were shot in the back of the head) and then rifling that leader's offices would never stoop so low as to plant false information, would it?
What kind of documents do you suppose you'd find in Ariel Sharon's office. Nothing damning there, I'm sure!
And what kind of documents would you find in Bush's office? And by that I mean deep down below the video game instructions and coloring books.
You know, the ones Cheney has to read to him.
Has anyone caught Ashleigh Banfield's get-up lately? I didn't realize that MSNBC had an Armored News Division.
She has a helmet so big that she now resembles an NFL bobbing head doll.
So far two journalists have been shot on the West Bank: Carlos Handal, a Palestinian cameraman and Anthony Shadid an Arab-American Boston Globe reporter. Perhaps Banfield's best defense isn't her futon-sized flak jacket or her Dukakis memorial helmet -- it's her last name!
If Sharon really wants to get rid of Yasir Arafat, he should pull Israeli troops out of the West Bank and allow the Palestinians to go about the democratic selection of a leader. In all likelihood that leader will not be Arafat. It's not as if the man's shortcomings are a West Bank state secret.
It is no longer accurate to say that Arafat is under house arrest. "Rubble arrest" is more like it.
That Arafat really must be a powerful guy, he is sitting in a pile of rubble, his security staff has been massacred and Bush and Sharon keep insisting he is the only one who can end the violence.
Bush admonished Arafat to immediately resume "security cooperation" with Israel against terrorism. This will be kind of tough considering how Israel has wiped out most of Arafat's security forces.
Attempting to establish security cooperation with Sharon is like trying to enter into a poison control program with a cobra.
If the Israelis want the suicide bombers caught before they can act how come they keep wiping out the only people who might have a chance of achieving that goal? It's amazing how easily missile attacks on police headquarters and jails can compromise the efficacy of law enforcement.
It's kind of hard to lock up a terrorist in a jail that consists of debris.