CrimQuips
CrimQuips 9-11-02 Wednesday, September 11, 2002
Commentary by Barry Crimmins
http://www.barrycrimmins.com
Today's remarks are sent along out of deep respect for victims of violence everywhere. This group's numbers will grow exponentially until people understand that the only way we can make the world peaceful and safe is to freely discuss problems and differences and always raise our voices to challenge madness, regardless of its source. Silence is evil's best friend. Barry Crimmins
_________________________________________________
"No country is immune from attack."-- George W. Bush
or stupidity.... Barry Crimmins
And to prove his "no country is immune" theory, Bush will announce a timetable for attacking each nation later this week.
It's only fair -- they've been warned that if they weren't with us, they were against us.
Tired of being hit by friendly fire, Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien formally broke with the US on Iraq, heightening tensions along the US/Canadian border.
9-11-'02 Weather report: High winds buffeted the Northeast this morning with the strongest gusts emanating from network newsrooms and speakers' platforms.
Clarification of the ROY G BIV Fatherland security code: The ORANGE alert means public gullibility is reaching dangerous levels.
Speaking of Fatherland Security, it's going pretty well. A year later and as of yet, no one has cracked the code on what the hell Tom Rigid is doing.
If Americans are jumpy today about the fuzzy possibility that somewhere there could be a covert assault, imagine how Iraqis feel with the world's only superpower thumping its chest and rattling its saber as it plans an overt attack on the ravaged nation.
What we should be on high alert for is the intensified threat to our civil liberties and our desensitization to the greater and more important lesson of 9-11: collateral damage, no matter where it takes place, is the work of evildoers.
In fact, we should replace the term "collateral damage" with the more accurate term "unconscionable slaughter of innocents."
If we're really intent on eradicating terrorism then it's time for a wholesale roundup of the financial terrorists who have robbed so many families of security over the past several years.
Tremendous news from New Hampshire: reactionary crackpot incumbent Bob Smith lost the Republican U.S. Senate primary.
Horrible news from New Hampshire: reactionary crackpot John E. Sununu won the Republican U.S. Senate primary.
Sununu is the son of the former New Hampshire Governor and Non-court-appointed Bush Administration official John "The Tanker's Half Full "Sununu, forever famous for his tireless assaults on the environment. Daddy was the New Hampshire governor who opened the Seabrook Nuclear Waste Production Plant -- a facility constructed by junkies who were tripping (actual fact). He is also immortal for his comment "Hey, nobody ever talks about how much oil didn't spill from the Exxon Valdez."
The six scariest words in American politics: Florida is back in the news.
Optimist: An African-American who registers to vote in Florida.
The Florida Lottery will now take over state elections. Their first plan is to incorporate "scratch-off ballots" -- get three of a kind and your vote is actually counted!
Remember, 9-11 isn't over until the Home Shopping Network has sold the last flag!
******
And finally, an excerpt from a note I received from the brilliant humorist, writer and performer
http://www.barrycrimmins.com
Today's remarks are sent along out of deep respect for victims of violence everywhere. This group's numbers will grow exponentially until people understand that the only way we can make the world peaceful and safe is to freely discuss problems and differences and always raise our voices to challenge madness, regardless of its source. Silence is evil's best friend. Barry Crimmins
_________________________________________________
"No country is immune from attack."-- George W. Bush
or stupidity.... Barry Crimmins
And to prove his "no country is immune" theory, Bush will announce a timetable for attacking each nation later this week.
It's only fair -- they've been warned that if they weren't with us, they were against us.
Tired of being hit by friendly fire, Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien formally broke with the US on Iraq, heightening tensions along the US/Canadian border.
9-11-'02 Weather report: High winds buffeted the Northeast this morning with the strongest gusts emanating from network newsrooms and speakers' platforms.
Clarification of the ROY G BIV Fatherland security code: The ORANGE alert means public gullibility is reaching dangerous levels.
Speaking of Fatherland Security, it's going pretty well. A year later and as of yet, no one has cracked the code on what the hell Tom Rigid is doing.
If Americans are jumpy today about the fuzzy possibility that somewhere there could be a covert assault, imagine how Iraqis feel with the world's only superpower thumping its chest and rattling its saber as it plans an overt attack on the ravaged nation.
What we should be on high alert for is the intensified threat to our civil liberties and our desensitization to the greater and more important lesson of 9-11: collateral damage, no matter where it takes place, is the work of evildoers.
In fact, we should replace the term "collateral damage" with the more accurate term "unconscionable slaughter of innocents."
If we're really intent on eradicating terrorism then it's time for a wholesale roundup of the financial terrorists who have robbed so many families of security over the past several years.
Tremendous news from New Hampshire: reactionary crackpot incumbent Bob Smith lost the Republican U.S. Senate primary.
Horrible news from New Hampshire: reactionary crackpot John E. Sununu won the Republican U.S. Senate primary.
Sununu is the son of the former New Hampshire Governor and Non-court-appointed Bush Administration official John "The Tanker's Half Full "Sununu, forever famous for his tireless assaults on the environment. Daddy was the New Hampshire governor who opened the Seabrook Nuclear Waste Production Plant -- a facility constructed by junkies who were tripping (actual fact). He is also immortal for his comment "Hey, nobody ever talks about how much oil didn't spill from the Exxon Valdez."
The six scariest words in American politics: Florida is back in the news.
Optimist: An African-American who registers to vote in Florida.
The Florida Lottery will now take over state elections. Their first plan is to incorporate "scratch-off ballots" -- get three of a kind and your vote is actually counted!
Remember, 9-11 isn't over until the Home Shopping Network has sold the last flag!
******
And finally, an excerpt from a note I received from the brilliant humorist, writer and performer