Skip to main content _

Barry Crimmins

words to live near


political satirist Barry Crimmins

The Bland of the Cheese Sunday, August 12, 2007

The Bland of the Cheese
I woke up about 4 AM the other morning singing and laughing. I dreamtt I was performing at the opening of the new Rocky Sullivan's in Brooklyn. Of course Rocky's has already opened but there's no need to fact check a dream. Dreams represent the facts as we feel them, not as they appear to us in waking state.

In this dream I was standing backstage, gathering my thoughts before making my entrance. A warped national anthem was playing. Just as it reached its crescendo, I came out singing:

And the Bla- aand of the cheeeeese!
And the home of thuuuuu Laaaaand!

The flag we were saluting was a linty old pink blanket covered with black mold spores. It hung over a drooping clothesline.

So you see, Mr, Bush, you needn't torture me or have the Dems grant you broad new authority to learn what's on (or in) my subconscious.

And, oh yeah, the crowd went wild.

updated: 15 years ago