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Barry Crimmins

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political satirist Barry Crimmins

Black Forums, Blackwater, Black Hearts Friday, September 28, 2007

Black Forums Blackwater Black Hearts

Inspector General Howard L. Krongman

None of the Republican frontrunners attended a GOP debate focusing on minority concerns. I'm shocked and stunned!Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, Mitt Romney and John McCain said they couldn't attend because of schedule conflicts. As it happens, they were all tied up in the 19th Century working on their platforms.

Giuliani said he would attend a debate before a black audience so long as the guards at Rikers Island could guarantee his safety.
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China's stand for Myanmar at the UN is nothing it wouldn't do for any of its other strategic allies, like Walmart.

The military junta in Myanmar really needs to learn that if it must massacre civilians then the task should be outsourced to Blackwater.

What it calls a "First Blush" report by the US Embassy on the latest Blackwater Massacre in Iraq (that we know of) is encouraging. I didn't think anything could make those slimebags blush.

In the middle of the incident a Blackwater unit got surrounded and had to be saved by the US military. So impoverished grunts had to go in and risk their lives to save grand-a-day mercenaries? That ought to make someone blush.

The embassy report fails to mention the eleven Iraqis who were massacred by the Hessian-Americans but it did document the "superficial damage" done to Blackwater vehicles.. That kind of cherry-picking could get the document's author a job at the White House.

I bet you anything Blackwater has already billed the government for full replacement cost of those vehicles.

The report celebrates one Blackwater employee for taking heroic action-- he pointed his weapon at other Blackwater thugs and told them to stop shooting.

That's like Don Rickles old story about how Frank Sinatra saved his life by saying, "OK boys, that's enough!"

The report states that the incident occurred when three Blackwater teams were escorting one "principal" back to Baghdad's Green Zone. The official had been visiting a "financial compound." So cash was involved and Blackwater started blasting. What a surprise!

What the hell is a financial compound? I mean, other than the one that serves as Blackwater's HQ in North Carolina.

That's just Krong!

Today's salute goes out to highly moral Bush Administration family man and State Department Inspector General Howard L. Krongman. The Krongster is suing his own son for hundreds of thousands of dollars over and above funds already repaid to him in full. Krongard, a notorious tyrant around the office (currently only 7 of 27 inspector positions are filled) has sent his son and daughter-in-law such menacing e-mails that they have filed a restraining order against them.

When not threatening to put his grandchildren on the street, Krongard remains busy interfering with investigations that couldembarrass the White House and State Department.

Think of it, the Inspector General, a man who is suposed to be beyond reproach, has been caught shaking down his own children!

If Krongman wants to cover something up perhaps he should start by attempting to obfuscate his role as Snydley Whiplash in his own family.

You know it takes a lot for a scumbag to stand out in Washington these days, but Howard L. Krongard has done that and more. He's thoroughly despicable and reprehensible, whether at home or at work. He embodies everything that sucks about the "because I said so" mentality of clay-footed patriarchs. He's a bully, a fixer and a cheap-shot artist. He's corrupt, hypocritical and has neither the talent nor brains to win fair fights. He is the scum de la scum. Howard J. Krongard, a pox upon your house and a blessing upon your son's.

In all the caterwauling over Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's visit to New York, nowhere did I hear or read anyone make the following point, except of course on Dennis Perrin's Blog.

If you at all doubt that imperialism warps the brain, just listen to the charges that Ahmadinejad, who has no power over the Iranian military, is gleefully killing U.S. troops in Iraq. The nerve of that bloodthirsty tyrant! Sending munitions into a bordering country that's under foreign occupation and is being bombed by Western planes. Who the fuck does he think he is? Iraq belongs to the U.S.! Only we have the right to be there, given our long-standing cultural ties with the Shi'a majority and our national adherence to Muslim law. If anybody's out of place in Iraq, it's the imperialist Iranians!

Dennis is nothing but trouble for tunnel-visioned hypocrites. Lucky for them they can pretend he's not out there.

updated: 14 years ago