political satirist Barry Crimmins
Exclusive Giulliani plot transcript Saturday, October 27, 2007
Exclusive transcript: According to media reports, Rudolph Giuliani was spared assassination by the mob on a close decision. Three of five New York crime families voted against whacking Rudy Giuliani in the 80's.
Rumor has it that the Republican presidential front-runner was spared when Bernard Kerik cast the tie-breaking vote in his favor.
Giuliani, never afraid to show gratitude, has taken good care of Kerik ever since.
According to a wiretap transcript, exclusively obtained by barrycrimmins.com, the assassination was hotly debated by high-ranking gangsters:
Mobster 1: Where does it say that you can't kill a prosecutor?
Mobster 2: Come on, (name redacted)...
Mobster 1: (Name redacted), wait a minute. I'm talking about a prosecutor -- that's mixed up in railroading people on phony drug charges I'm talking about ah - ah - a dishonest prosecutor -- a crooked prosecutor who got mixed up in the rackets and got what was coming to him. That's a terrific story. And we have newspaper people on the payroll, don't we, (name redacted)? And they might like a story like that.
Mobster 2: They might, they just might...
Mobster 1: It's not personal, (name redacted). It's strictly business.
END OF TRANSCRIPT
So there you have it, Rudy Giuliani isn't just reviled by decent citizens!
Rumor has it that the Republican presidential front-runner was spared when Bernard Kerik cast the tie-breaking vote in his favor.
Giuliani, never afraid to show gratitude, has taken good care of Kerik ever since.
According to a wiretap transcript, exclusively obtained by barrycrimmins.com, the assassination was hotly debated by high-ranking gangsters:
Mobster 1: Where does it say that you can't kill a prosecutor?
Mobster 2: Come on, (name redacted)...
Mobster 1: (Name redacted), wait a minute. I'm talking about a prosecutor -- that's mixed up in railroading people on phony drug charges I'm talking about ah - ah - a dishonest prosecutor -- a crooked prosecutor who got mixed up in the rackets and got what was coming to him. That's a terrific story. And we have newspaper people on the payroll, don't we, (name redacted)? And they might like a story like that.
Mobster 2: They might, they just might...
Mobster 1: It's not personal, (name redacted). It's strictly business.
END OF TRANSCRIPT
So there you have it, Rudy Giuliani isn't just reviled by decent citizens!